ʙᴜʙʙʟᴇɢᴜᴍ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ | BAXTER RADIC

sᴇᴠᴇɴ

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"why do you look like someone died?" alexandra's mother, kayla, asked her this question after noticing her daughter's feeling down since she got out of bed.

"i think comimg here was a mistake, mom. "

"what makes you think that, honey?"

alexandra batteled with thoughts of that. should she let her mother know about the fear she's feeling when she things of baxter? or is it better to keep that to herself.
"i just don't like it here."

"i'm sorry to hear that, honey, but i'm afraid we're going to spend more time here than we expected."

her eyes widened and her heart started beating faster. she wasn't disappointed, not at all, just scared that her stay here might do more damage than goods.

" i have a job interview tomorrow morning, and my chances are pretty good. there are not many lawyers at this town."

she thought, maybe it is a good idea to let her mother know about those struggles she's dealing with. maybe her mother will have a couple of words of courage to say to her, something to make her feel better about her condition, something to hold on to.
"i lied, mom. i like it here. i met a couple of people and they seem good. they surf. and there's this boy that i might find interesting."

her mother's eyes were glowing. it's been such a long time since she had a boy conversation with her father.

"don't give me that look, mom. it's nothing. i'm not letting anything happen."

"you know, honey, letting someone get close to you isn't a sign of weakness."

"i promised to myself."

"it's okay not to hold on to every promise you give. it's called being human."

not long after conversation with her mother, alexandra found the courage to show in front of baxter. she prepared for the worst - maybe he'll hate her, but maybe, just maybe he'll be a grown-up in this situation and respect her boundaries. after all, they can be friends. they can talk about how their day went and they can be around each other without feeling the need to tear each others clothes.

the surfing crew was typically on the beach. alexandra found herself filled with joy when she realised everyone was in the water except for the boy she came looking for. but, unfortunately, by the time she got there, summer was already talking with baxter.

"yo, anti-baxxer, come sit with us."

alexandra smiled but felt uncomfortable with that nickname she got. maybe it'll fade, but maybe it will stuck and she'll always be reminded of the bitch she was the first time they met here.

"you missed a hell of a party. i burned down a fucking house." summer was laughing and alexandra looked at her with her eyes widened.

"what?"

"it's true. tell her bax."

baxter looked at her for the first time since she got there. his ocean blue eyes locked on hers for just a second, but it was enough for her to feel her stomach tumble.

"it's true." the tone of his voice made her thing that he's mad at her. not that he didn't have the right to be. just, it made her feel down,deep inside she hoped this boy will keep on trying and eventually they'll end up together. but she knew that wasn't happening.

summer wen't back to surfing shortly after, and alexandra was left alone with baxter. it felt slightly uncomfortable, and she thought it's a good idea to break the silence.

"are you not going to surf?" it looked like a good theme to start with, but instead of answering, pink haired boy just gave her a look that made her realize he's not going to talk to her.

"come on, baxter, you can't be mad at me for that."
he still didn't say a word, just stared at his feet crossed in the sand as the only noise in the air was the surfing crew laughing and screaming in the water.

"are you seriously giving me the silent treatment?"
still nothing.

"fine."

alexandra was ready to give up, and just when she was about to stand up from the sand, his arm grabbed hers and he actually said something that made alexandra's heart skip a beat.

"just because i'm mad at you doesn't mean i don't want you around."

who was this boy to make her feel this kind of way,
to play with her emotions and make her feel things she hasn't felt in a long time? how does he have the nerve to want something so fragile that might break in his arms?

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