The Witcher One Shots

Sky Falls (Geraskier) (Angst)

It had been almost a year since Geralt had abandoned Jaskier in Caingorn. Jaskier had moved on, mostly. Geralt however thought that him and Jaskier could ignore that had ever happened. Geralt thought they would go back to being normal. Jaskier had found someone who cared about him, someone who thought he was enough alone, Jaskier wasn't competing for first place anymore, he had already won in Radovid's heart. That's all he needed. But now that Radovid had been Jaskier's number one, Geralt learned he wanted to be that. He wanted Radovid's place. 

"Ah yes, brooding like normal I see." Jaskier walked up to Geralt from behind.

Geralt opened his eyes from his meditation, to see a beautiful mountain scape before him, "Yes, bard, brooding."

Jaskier raised an eyebrow, and sat next to Geralt in the dirt, "You've been distant lately. Did I do something to piss you off?" Jaskier asked, genuinely concerned if he had made his Witcher angry at him.

"No, I've just been overwhelmed, Ciri being in Nilfgaard, healing from Vilgefortz. I just need some time." Geralt lied. Jaskier had moved on from him, that was why he was distant.

"Geralt, that lie couldn't fool even Valdo Marx. What is really going on?" Jaskier prodded. He knew he was poking the bear, but this question had been burning in his mind for what felt like ages, "Did I do something?"

"You didn't do anything Jask." He lied once again.

Jaskier got off the ground, "Alright, fine, if you don't want to talk that's your problem. Let me know if you do." Jaskier dusted the dirt off his coat and wandered back to the camp.

Geralt hung onto his words. The words he could not utter, no, the words he wouldn't utter. He so desperately wanted to shout to Jaskier that he loved him, that he would die for him. But he couldn't. Jaskier found someone, and Geralt would leave it there for now.

Jaskier started a fire, waiting for the tired, disgruntled Witcher to make his way back to the camp before he started cooking the stew. Jaskier started humming to himself. Toss a Coin to Your Witcher. A familiar classic.

"You know, I never really hated that song. Just disliked the lies." Geralt said, emerging from the shadowy forest.

Jaskier looked up to see a small grin on Geralt's face, "I recall you telling me, many times that you would gouge out your own eyes before hearing it again."

That was because it reminded me of my feelings for you. Geralt wanted to say, but instead he said, "I lied."

Jaskier went on for a bit, talking about Nilfgaard, Redania, then he stumbled upon the subject of his princely lover. Geralt felt a pang of jealousy when he heard the prince's name. A small anger burned in his chest.

"Are you even listening? Radovid and I, once we get Ciri back, are going to Oxenfurt! Isn't it wonderful!" Jaskier, for the first time in two weeks, had a genuine smile on his face. A smile that beamed like the sun.

"No." Geralt muttered, before he could filter himself.

Jaskier paused. Gently laying down his bowl of stew, he looked at the White Haired Witcher, no trace of joy in sight, "What?" He asked, his voice cracked in the whisper while his eyes start to tear up.

"I said no. It's not wonderful." Geralt said, leaning into it now that he'd said something, "I want to be in Radovid's place. I want to run away with you."

Jaskier's sad eyes shifted. The bard's eyes glared daggers into Geralt. Jaskier tried to compose himself, but to no avail, "You know what, Witcher?" Jaskier knew how much Geralt disliked being called 'Witcher' and yet he used the name anyway, "I don't care anymore. I don't care if you love me or not. I don't care if you want to be with Yennefer." He said her name with cold respect, "I have finally found someone who think I alone am enough for them! I chased after your love for years. Over twenty years! I wasted my life over someone who was in love with someone else!" Wasted?  Geralt thought wasted means you regret it. The Witcher's brain finally caught up, "I don't love you, Geralt. Not like that. Not anymore." Jaskier got up and tried to walk away, but the Witcher stopped him, grabbing him by the wrist.

"How was I supposed to know you loved me? How could I know that?"

"My heartbeat accelerated whenever I was with you. You would touch me, and my face would get warmer. I wasn't exactly quiet about it either! I wrote a breakup song! I did everything in my power to show you that I loved you and you ignored it. You did that. You blew every chance with me and now you have to live with that. I would have stayed with you until Sky fall! I would have followed you to the edge of the world! I guess it's true what they say about Witchers. You really don't feel anything. Let my arm go, Geralt." 

Geralt had never heard Jaskier speak like this. Not to him. The anger, and fear, the sadness. Jaskier was really angry. So angry that he ripped his arm from Geralt's grasp and ran off into the woods. Geralt was left there, standing by the fire, knowing that he was shit out of luck with Jask.

The next morning Geralt woke up to see the bard lying across from him writing in his songbook, the wooden logs they'd used for the fire lay between them.

"Jaskier-"

"No. No. I don't want to talk to you right now. Leave me be. I'm composing." Jaskier's tone was icy, clearly still angry.

"I just want to say-"

Jaskier put his hand up in a stopping motion, "I don't care what you want to say. You do not get to be angry with me for moving on. Please shut up. I'm writing."

"You can go. You can go be with Radovid, I'll let you leave."

"You forget, Witcher, we are in the middle of nowhere, I would die out there, besides, I'm not entrusting my daughter's wellbeing to an injured, half dead Witcher. You can barely keep yourself standing." Jaskier started to mutter, "I can't leave you out here alone, you'd get yourself killed." Jaskier knew Geralt could hear him, but he wanted to make it clear that he resented caring.

"Jaskier, I'm sorry."

"It's always 'Jaskier I'm sorry' but it's never a true apology, you never mean your apologies! Gods I feel like an idiot." Jaskier got up from his leather sleep roll, "I'm going for a walk to clear my head, I'll be right back."

Geralt stood from the log he sat on, "Wait, Jaskier- Julian!" Geralt shouts after him, and Jaskier stops in his tracks. He turns around to Geralt, with a soft look on his face, "I'm sorry. I feel terrible about last night, I feel terrible about what happened in Caingorn. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I should have gone after you when you left." Geralt looks to Jask, his eyes full of genuine remorse, "I, from the bottom of my heart, am sorry."

Jaskier walks away, and for a moment Geralt thinks he fucked it up once again, before he hears Jaskier sniffle lightly. Once Jaskier is further away from the campsite, he falls to his knees. The words he's been waiting for, the words he's yearned to hear for a year, and they didn't feel as sweet as he thought they would. Jaskier feels resentment. Toward himself, toward Geralt, toward the world. Why does he still feel angry? Why isn't the anger gone? Why didn't he feel better? If anything, he felt angrier than he did before. Jaskier heard a twig break behind him, but he didn't care to look over his shoulder. The leaves crunched under the heavy boots of the Witcher. He kneeled next to Jaskier and set his hand on the bard's shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Geralt asked, as he pulled Jaskier closer to his chest. The bard broke down.

Jaskier wiped away a few tears, and managed to sniffle, "I'm still mad," His chest heaved as he crumbled into Geralt's grasp, "I don't understand why I still feel like this."

Geralt gently ran his hand up and down Jaskier's upper arm, attempting to calm his bard down, "feelings are strange, Jaskier, they're complex. A few words may not make you feel any better than you did before." The Witcher moved his bard in his arms to look him in his beautiful, ocean eyes, "And that's okay. You need to let yourself feel. Good and bad emotions."

Jaskier took his shirt sleeve and wiped his face, "thank you, Geralt." He muttered.

"Don't worry, bard, I'll be here for you until the sky falls," Geralt softly smiles at Jaskier, making the bard smile gently too.