Hue in my Photograph (Hue Series #4)

Hue #1

HUE #1

Mirn's POV

"F1 wanted us to be their official photographer. That is the F1 Grand Prix, Meredith, the first in our country, and yet you declined the offer?" Dad eyed me as I entered my office.

It seems like he's already been there for a couple of minutes enjoying his coffee before he lecture me. Katatapos ko lamang makipag-usap sa kliyente namin. Actually, it was the F1 team. Ang bilis naman kumalat ng balita kay Dad. I didn't even know he was here.

"Dad, like I said to their organizer, we're full packed," simpleng tugon ko. "Check the schedule, Dad, and you will see that I didn't decline the offer for personal reasons. There's no team that will take it since there's a lot of events."

Nilapag ko ang ipad sa harapan niya para ipakita ang schedule namin sa buong taon. Dad didn't even bother to look at it. Diretso pa rin ang tingin niya sa akin.

"Dad, what?" Naiinip na sabi ko. I know I would get an earful today or at least I felt I was going to hear some.

"I am not talking about our team, Meredith. I am talking about you. You are the first and only Filipina permanently accredited as an F1 photographer and you wasted it. Now is the time you make use of it for our company's sake," Dad scowled. "It's been five years, Meredith. Bakit ba kasi hindi mo na lang sabihin sa kanya ang totoo?"

"Dad, I am busy," I responded, ignoring his last statement.

"Busy? On what? You are no longer taking photographs, Meredith, not even doing films. What do you mean busy?"

"Dad, I am busy with Gabby," sagot ko. "And I am managing the company. You know that. Nakikita niyo naman kung gaano karaming paperworks ang tinatapos ko araw-araw."

"I didn't ask you to take over our company, Meredith. Certainly, hindi ko rin gusto na iyan ang dahilan kung bakit ka abala. I want you to be busy with your art again. With your photographs and films," Dad changed his tone. Bigla ko ring naramdaman ang lungkot lalo na't nakita ko kung gaano niya kagusto na bumalik na ako sa dating ginagawa ko.

For the nth time, I ignored his sentiments.

"Dad, I'm doing great now. Let's talk about this some other time. I need to go now. Baka ma-late pa ako sa pagsundo ko kay Gabby. You know, traffic."

Inayos ko na ang mga gamit ko para makaalis na ako. Dad didn't move an inch. Nakaupo pa rin siya sa couch. He's staring at me, perhaps waiting for me to at least say something.

I sighed. "I will try, Dad."

"Yes, you will try during the F1." Dad stood up. "We are covering it, with you as the official photographer. Otherwise, I will be the one to tell that guy about his son."

"Dad!" I protested. "You cannot do that to me! I do not want to go to the Grand Prix. Iba na lang. I will assign someone from our team."

"Are you really going to hide his son forever? You know you cannot do that, Meredith." Dad seriously looked at me. "Lumalaki na si Gabby. He needs his father. He's starting to look for him."

"He doesn't deserve Gabby."

"How would you know when you didn't even give him a chance to know about his own son?" Dad left.

Naiwan ako sa opisina ko. Ilang minuto rin akong tulala hanggang sa makabawi na. My decision didn't change. I still do not want him to be part of my life again…our life.

Sigurado rin naman ako na hindi niya gusto. Baka masira pa ang career niya kapag nalaman niya ang tungkol kay Gabby. As if he would care…hindi naman niya ako mahal. He never did.