Avenoir

Avenoir - Marlena

Marlena

Kristen's attempts to appear innocent of scheming to marry John, and to be outraged that I would believe her to be low enough to use her newborn son's illness to manipulate him, are enough to set fire to my temper. I know she is that low, and I have absolutely no doubt she will try to do just that.

Behind my back, she will scheme to get John into her bed, to consummate this farcical marriage, and she will perform the role of frightened mother to ensure John is stuck to her side for every moment that the child is in the hospital.

"I've kept quiet this long out of love for John, and concern for this baby," I speak angrily. "But I will not stand by and let you sink your claws deeper into John." I stare at her, hoping my glower settles deep into her bones so she knows that I see the truth of her blackened, treacherous soul. And I realize that whatever John feels for me, he deserves to know the truth about this malignant bitch. And I need to be the one to tell him.

"You know, all I'm trying to do, is keep my family intact," she grimaces, and I am astonished by her bare-faced audacity. To claim John as her own, even after everything that has happened. Even after she read the letter, after she hid the truth from both of us. After she convinced me to tell John I only thought of him as a friend, to release him from what she said was his feeling of responsibility for me. All the time, knowing that it wasn't responsibility he feels, but love. Soul-deep love.

She would, she will use her child to take John from my children, and that makes me so angry I can barely see straight.

"All you're trying to do is hang onto what does not belong to you," I say, my temper simmering just below the surface. But I will not let her drive me to lose my apparent calm, to speak in a way that others might think unreasonable, should they overhear us. "Look, I was trying to wait until your child was safe , but you've left me no choice. Now I have to go to John and tell him the truth." I stare murderously at her. "The truth. About Kristen." I say the last in a singsong voice that I know will irritate her and I feel a flash of satisfaction at the look of fury that flits across her face.

She scowls at me, her nostrils flaring with pent-up frustration and anger. She appears sulky, like she knows there's nothing she can do to stop this. To stop me from telling John the truth, to stop me from revealing the depths of her deception, and of her betrayal.

That she conspired with Stefano to kidnap me, to take me away forever from John and my children. I can't forgive that. She would let my children grow up without their mother. She would make me prey to Stefano's narcissistic greed and his lecherous appetites, and she would not care one iota.

I had known in that underground cage that it would only be a matter of time before he lost his patience and took me physically, against my will. His reaction to my refusal of his offer of my freedom for a night with him told me everything I needed to know about his level of patience and his willingness to wait for me to bend to his will. It was terrifying, the fury in his eyes when I changed my mind, when I turned him down. He is not a man who is used to not getting his own way. What he wants, he takes. And he would have taken me, by force, eventually.

And she hadn't cared. As long as she had what she wanted. She would take everything that was mine, and not think twice about my fate and the misery and pain I would be forced to endure.

So, I have no patience and no sympathy left for her. She deserves everything she will get once John knows the truth.

I push past her, but she grabs my arm. "No! No! You can't tell John, not now."

I pull my arm from her grip, unable even to bear her hands on me. "He has the right to know what kind of evil person you are. That you would even use your son's illness to tie him closer to you."

"I would not do that!" she proclaims huffily. "And I won't do that, I promise you."

"I don't believe you," I say. And why would I? When has she, in this whole sorry saga, ever proved herself trustworthy, ever proved her word is even worth the oxygen she uses to speak?

"Look, he's got too much going on right now. He's got too much weighing on his shoulders with the baby having surgery." Her plea catches my attention. I know what she's doing, of course. Using my love for John, and my concern for his well-being to manipulate me. And I want to ignore her. I want to march up to John and take him somewhere private and tell him everything.

But she has a point. He is worried about his son. He loves his children so much, and this is taking up every available ounce of emotional energy that he has. The fact that he fell asleep in her hospital bed is evidence of that. "If you tell him everything else, it's going to be too much for him. Just wait, just wait a little bit, until after the operation," she begs me.

I think. I consider her request and weigh it with my desire that he knows the truth about his wife before she can do anything more to entrap him. But, unfortunately, she is right. His child's life is at stake here. I hate it, but it would be selfish of me to land this on him, to expect him to process the information that his wife has lied to him and has used his own sense of integrity and loyalty to manipulate him and keep him from his family. That his trust in her almost sealed my fate as Stefano's unwilling concubine.

"All right." I finally say. I love him too much to put him through this pain while he needs all his strength to be there for his baby. "But for John. So that he can focus on his son."

"Thank you," Kirsten says but I can tell she resents saying it.

"But there are rules," I add with a quiet ferocity that she cannot miss. "And you had better damn well commit them to your memory. You will not make love to John. You will not let him touch you. Not even a pat on the shoulder while passing."

"Fine!" Kristen spits out, but it's clear that this is anything but fine by her, and I get another momentary flash of satisfaction. She has made my life miserable for so long, it feels like a tiny slice of revenge to be making her equally miserable.

"And if you try doing anything behind closed doors," I tell her, "I'll find out about it. And I will tell John." She knows it's not an empty threat. She knows John tells me everything. And even if it's too late to grant him the easy annulment I know he will want, at least he will know the truth about her. And she will be left alone and miserable.

"Oh, you are just such a bitch!" Kristen snaps impotently. She knows there's nothing she can do and it's driving her crazy.

"I was thinking the same thing about you," I say with the hint of a smile on my face.

safe?