She-Ra fics (2018)

Angelic love 6/6 - Alone.

Adora grieves for Angella.

~~~

Adora wasn't a stranger to grief. It came in many forms to her. To most Horde soldiers, to be fair. Grief followed a lost battle; where the opposing team won. Grief followed the dismissal of a teammate; where they failed to reach their goals. Grief followed when a team of fifty left, and less than twenty came home.

But she never thought she'd be grieving the loss of a parent.

Nobody in the Horde did.

Those who were lucky enough to have their parents alive didn't see them regularly enough if they were in the Horde. Soldiers were taken from their families at the age of five, sometimes younger, sometimes older, and conditioned to be a fighter. One that killed without reason, one that killed simply because they were told to. Some kids had to watch as their parents were slaughtered before their very eyes for their traitorous behaviour. Others had to do the killing.

Nobody in Adora's squad even had parents. Catra was found in a box, as Shadow Weaver claims, in the Fright Zone a few months after Adora arrived. Lonnie's willingly gave her up for their own safety and protection (and payment) but kept their other four children. Rogelio was once a normal lizard, but mutated thanks to falling into one of Hordak's vats from the air vents. Kyle's parents were Horde fighters, but died in the original rebellion battle, some two years before Adora was even born.

And Adora? Well, she was a few months old when she was taken; around three. She simply appeared one day, in a portal, into Hordak's arms. The man had dismissed her to the infirmary where Shadow Weaver intercepted and took over raising her as her own.

But she left the Horde; and their toxic manipulations of the children. It turned out, as she later discovered, Lonnie's parents were forced to give her, and their other four children up. They ran, but the Horde took Lonnie before they could and killed the other six. Kyle's parents died long after the initial rebellion battle and worked as cleaners until they were killed in a siege, Catra's mother was part of an ancient civilisation called Magicat in the long destroyed place of Halfmoon, gone shortly after Hordak arrived, Rogelio's mother is still a fighter with the Horde, but she surrendered him to keep her job as Force Captain of the Northern Reach, and Adora's? Well, her parents were on another planet entirely. Who knew if they were alive or not?

But then she found Glimmer, and Bow, and Angella, and the rest of the rebellion.
They were her family.

But she'd never realised what her relationship with Angella was... not until after she'd died.

But it wasn't her place to be upset about her death. Not openly at least... that was Glimmer's place. Adora distanced herself from the young Queen after the coronation. For multiple issues, to be fair. Part of it was guilt; guilt that she'd let Catra set off the portal. Guilt that she'd let Catra get under her skin. Guilt that Angella had taken the sword out; the sword that was Adora's responsibility... guilt that Angella sacrificed herself for Adora.

The other part was anger. Adora was an angry person by nature, thanks to the Horde. It took a lot of breaking and rebuilding for her to break the habits she'd been taught, and that included the "hit first, ask questions later" methods. She tried not to let Glimmer's scathing words bother her too much. Apparently, so Bow claimed, grief made people do stupid things. Sometimes they become self-destructive, other times they're an emotional wreck and need something called therapy, and other times they're a different person... an angry, vengeful person.

So she'd rant to Bow in the late evenings following the month after Angella's death.

It took just under six months for Adora to break down spectacularly. That week had been particularly trying, no thanks to Shadow Weaver's interference. Glimmer was so blinded by the thirst for revenge, that she let the twisted disgraced Horde commander manipulate her mind. Adora could see it from a million miles away, but Glimmer refused to acknowledge her.

She went against their wishes to save Entrapta.
She ignored their warnings about Light Hope.
She ignored their warnings about the Heart.
She ignored what would happen if she activated it.

And because of that, Adora had to destroy the sword, killing She-Ra and losing a part of herself forever more.

Because of her ignorance, she ended up giving Horde Prime what he wanted; the signal.

When Adora was told Glimmer had been taken, she blurted that She-Ra was gone. Bow held her as she sobbed, feeling pain in all areas of her body. Heart, mind and physical all at once. Her immediate thought? I'm glad she's gone. Maybe she'll learn the hard way.

She was lying in her bed, exhausted and in a fair amount of pain when she fell apart. She'd obviously passed out at some point, for when she woke, there was a blanket draped over her form and the curtains drawn.

Bow.

Adora sat up slowly, reaching for the water at her side. Her hand brushed across a piece of paper. She began to read as she drank.

Adora.

I hope this letter finds you well. I hope you are continuing to look after yourself, though if I know you well enough, I suspect you are not. No matter; my daughter and Bow will continue to help you. I instructed Juliet to deliver this letter to you in the case of my death, or my inability to address you personally, at a point where you would need this. I will not write forever... I know you are not fond of letters all that much.

Whatever has happened thus far is irrelevant. You are strong enough to overcome anything you set your mind to. You are one of the few people that I would trust with my life, with Brightmoon and with the Rebellion. I am aware of the impact our decision to have Shadow Weaver remain within Brightmoon is taking its toll on you, despite you trying to assure me otherwise. If she wasn't an asset, or risk - which I personally think is the more likely option, I would have her imprisoned within Salineas - as far away from you as I can get her.

If you are reading this, and I have died, then all I can do is offer my sincerest apologies. I wasn't strong enough to fight for the rebellion, not in the ways you are. I am so, incredibly proud of you, Adora. There is nobody else that I would be proud to consider as another daughter of mine than you.

Stay strong, and stay true to yourself.

Angella.

PS: that blanket you have? The woollen one? My mother knitted it for me, and now I want you to have it. Juliet will either bring it to you imminently, or it will already be in your possession. Do not worry about Glimmer; she has her own that I knitted for her. This one is yours, and yours alone. I hope it brings you comfort and warmth in times of need.

Adora's hands shook violently as she re-read the letter again, and again, and again, and again. Her eyes grew blurry. She allowed the tears to fall, staining her cheeks. Her heart did something strange like it was dropping into the very souls of her feet.

The letter fell from her hands, drifting to the ground. She pulled the blanket up tight to her chest and sobbed.