Prior to starting high school, I told my parents I felt depressed a couple years back. My feelings weren't heard. This is where majority of my issues stemmed. I wasn't heard, my feelings weren't validated. Felt alone. Not heard. I kept to myself from hear on out.
I've always hated school. People. Interactions. Ignorance. I went to a totally different school than the normal district schools. So stepping into one big building of all little schools around town was a weird transition to step into. What doesn't phase me but phases me at the same time is that I barely talked to anyone yet alone knew anyone, yet I got bullied and my name were in peoples' mouths. I got bullied and accused for 'doing' it with someone during a vacation.
This had to be 6 months into my freshman year. I was already depressed a few years before, and starting off with people assuming things about me and dealing with it for the next four years was not something I enjoyed envisioning. I kept to myself and lets the accusations run through my head, and let it eat at me little by little.
Fast forward, It's the near the end of the school year. Ariel is gone. Before the first year of freshman year. The air seemed so thin at school for weeks after that. Though she was just a family-friend-acquaintance, her death still hit home. It hurt to see so many people impacted by her passing, especially myself with barely knowing her. And knowing that she was going through something relatable with me, and hiding it behind a smile and "I'm good!" is scary. You don't know what someone is thinking if they don't say it.
Summer goes by. I'm working, barely holding on with my emotions. Feeling lost. Alone. June comes around and my idol is gone, Jahseh Onfroy. One that spoke motivation into me, one that gave me a little gleam of light when I wanted to quit. And now that's taken from me. It felt like the whole world wanted to see my face in the dirt. I kept feeling more and more lost as days went by. Feeling no purpose and still had those nightmare words replay in my head everyday.
YOU ARE READING
suicide.
Teen Fiction[TRIGGER WARNING: THIS STORY TOUCHES ON SENSITIVE TOPICS] A high school freshman girl committed suicide near the end of her first year. You, the reader, is in a perspective of a bystander who experiences the events throughout the situation. But how...
