StarChaser One Shots <3

Marauders Incorrect Quotes Part Two

I'm procrastinating and have too many thoughts running around so here's some incorrect quotes I've found/made up 👍🏻

1)
Harry: Hey Moony, can I sleep with Draco?

Remus: sure, the Blacks are great in bed.

Harry: thanks!

Harry: wait- what?

Remus: *smirks*

Harry: I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT
Harry: OH MERLIN

Remus: still want to sleep with someone?

Harry: YOU'RE AN ASS

2)
Fred: what would our Marauder's name be?

George: I don't know, but something really cool

James, from heaven: ah yes Thing 1 and Thing 2

3)
*The Marauders are shopping with Harry for his school supplies in Diagon Alley*

Remus: the baby's getting excited

Harry: Uncle Moony I'm 11

Remus: I know Harry, I meant Uncle Padfoot

Sirius: *fangirling over new brooms*

4)
Sirius: *yawn*

Remus, trying to flirt: I suppose being so pretty must be tiring

Sirius: uhm, you must be exhausted then

Remus: *blushing*

Sirius: *grinning*

James: really? IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

5)
Harry: fuck!

Lily, gasping: who taught the baby that?!

James: not me!

Sirius: not me!

Regulus: not me!

Mary: not me!

Everyone, looking at Remus: ...

Remus: oh yeah? Blame the fucking werewolf! Always the werewolf, fuck you honestly- oh.

6)
*On a nature hike*

Regulus: it's so beautiful up here

Remus: mhm and quiet

Regulus: ...too quiet

Remus: Did we lose someone?

Sirius and James: *attempting friendship with bear*

Remus: I'm sure it's fine

7)
Remus: I mean, small creatures are way more vicious because they have less space to bottle up their anger.

Sirius: That's ridiculous, name one creature.

Mary: spiders

Peter: wasps

Lily: terriers

James: Regulus.

8)
*Sirius tiptoeing back to the Potters residence*

James, turning in a swivel chair: care to explain where you've been all night?

Sirius: um..visiting my brother

Regulus, appearing from the shadows: try again.

Sirius: ...
Sirius: THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?

9)
James, admiring Regulus: he could slap me across the face and I'd say thank you