StarChaser One Shots <3

Its Giving Marauders Era ✨

These are 16 things my family has said that remind me of the Marauders/HP characters lmao

(I would love to hear who you think these relate to the most, also my family is iconic but like...you can see where my delusions come from)
~

1. My mother on new years:
"Scuzzi my good bitches"

2. My father one random Monday:
"Fuck them! I am the law! Bonus points if I hit a cyclist!"

3. Convo with my sister:

Her: "Wait Eryn we're both girls"

Me: "Yes. I'm aware. Is this new information to you?"

Her: "No no I mean we are BOTH girls! Like we both know our uncle doesn't want kids, we are the end of our bloodline!"

Me: "I am more like to end up with a woman and you hate kids, slay are we ending our family bloodline with the power of the lgbtq community and stubbornness?"

Her: "Love that for us...do you want potato salad?"

Me: "Mate it's six in the morning."

Her: "What's your point?"

4. Convo with my dad:

Him: "They're coming for us Eryn"

Me: "What? Who?"

Him: "The women are coming for us."

Me: "Don't phrase it like that. Who are you talking about?"

Him: "It's that time of the month. They've synced up. What do I do?"

Me: "Dad. You've had years of experience with this. You know what you have to do."

Him: "Snacks and cat videos for your sister, I'm making dinner tonight with extra iron for your mother. Wait, wait wait wait wait wait!"

Me: "What? You've got it right"

Him: "YOU ALWAYS HAVE IT AT THE SAME TIME"

Me: "Yeah?"

"..."

Me: "What are you doing?"

Him: "Testing"

Me: "My patience? Yeah."

Him: "You on your period? Seem a bit sassy"

Me: "I DONT HAVE TO BE ON MY PERIOD TO SASS YOU"

Him: "Are you though?"

Me: "Yes."

5. Convo with my sister

Her: "look all I'm saying is men being pregnant isn't a bad thing"

Me: "I mean I get where you're coming from, but men can't get pregnant, that's the whole reason this conversation started. They don't go through what we do"

Her: "yes I know that, but what if we made it so they could?"

Me: "the fuck are you on about?"

Her: "we get an Andrew Tate like individual in here, strap him down and get one of those tong things dad uses for the bbq then we-"

Me: "I'm gonna stop you right there. You're not performing a surgery in my bedroom."

Her: "fine I'll do it in the living room"

6. Convo with my sister (on our period)

Me: "ugh I hate being a woman"

Her: "I'd so much rather be a woman than a man though"