Beautiful Dreamer

5.I Hope You Suffer

"Honestly, I can not explain why this is happening to me. I'm too ashamed to admit it, but even whilst he loathes me, I still keep asking myself why I can't stop thinking about him."

"Ari, you're being delirious. How many years has it been so far? My suggestion is you forget about him and move on with your life."

"As if it were that easy," Ari murmured, then slumbered on the couch lazily. "I used to brood over meeting work deadlines even on my days off, but these days, my head is filled with thoughts of him naked and panting beneath me."

Mun laughed after throwing his bags on the dining table. He'd just gotten back from his weekend errands and had come home to the same place he shared with Ari, only to find him sulking, a remote control in his hand as he flipped through the channels, oblivious to how unsightly he appeared. The last time he'd seen him like this was after he'd failed to secure a major client with the company, and for weeks, he blamed himself when they couldn't pay the staff for a period of two months after succumbing to significant losses. The company later on recovered. However, that experience frightened him for a while before he could get back on his feet.

"I heard he resigned."

"Yes. At least, I think he wanted to but couldn't bring himself to place his resignation letter on my gay hands or gay table. He is probably dry-heaving as we speak. I hope he chokes while at it."

Mun burst out laughing again, which irritated Ari even further. "What were you up to? I heard you leaving very early in the morning."

"There is this new restaurant that opened up across the street called Yummy Yum. I wanted to check it out after I returned from my errands, and the place was packed to the brim. I decided to pass by later on." Extending his hand holding a takeaway iced coffee towards Ari, Mun added, "That's where I got this from. Let's visit that place sometime."

"I don't think I have the energy to go anywhere," Ari replied, extending his hand to reach for the beverage from its takeaway holder. "I want to just laz around all day today.

"I'm not asking today, dummy. Or better yet, why don't you invite your unrequited crush for a date there?"

"You are incorrigible. The guy resigned just because he couldn't work with me. Anyway, whatever he thinks of me is none of my business. He doesn't contribute to anything in my life, but then, to hate people like me that much to the point of resignation? That hurts my pride."

After slurping his beverage, Ari added, "Funny is, when the human resource informed me where he lives, I was surprised to discover he is fighting with some loan shark. He even requested an advance salary from the finance department, which was immediately denied."

"Seems like the guy has a lot of baggage."

"That's why I'm wondering why he would want to resign whilst in dire need of money. Are you also aware he works two other jobs outside our company?"

"You must have dug a lot of information about him, Ari. Are we back to stalking again because I'm in."

"I'm not stalking him, stupid. His information just happened to land on my hands. The people he owes money to are listed as primary sources to wire his salary for the next two years he'll be working with us as per his contract. When I asked human resources to dig into that, it turns out there are three sources of funds this guy transferred his money to. All his earnings go there. But then, his problems, like I said earlier, are not my concern. He isn't nice. He is homophobic and has no work ethic at all. I wouldn't help him even if I wanted to. He deserves the hardships he is going through. I'm sure he must have pissed off someone to succumb to such debt with his lashing tongue. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the person he messed up with was gay! Ooh! I hope they are because that'd be the poetic justice I need. Homophobic jerk!"

"Hey, calm down. You'll break the remote control and spill the coffee I lovingly bought you."

"Aaaagh! I am so mad! We were done recruiting staff for the financial year! It costs money to hire another staff! Time, the advertisements, interviews and shortlisting."

"The training and orientation..."

"Exactly! You feel me, right?"

"All I'm getting is after eight years, you still could not get over this guy."

Ari placed both the remote control on the table together with the beverage. Leaning back on the couch, he covered his eyes and wriggled his feet frustratingly. After a few seconds, he sat up abruptly and declared. "I'm going to download the Gaypride app. I've been brooding far too long because I haven't gotten laid in months."

"One year and eight months."

Ari twisted his face in disgust. "You've been counting?"

"I keep tabs on things that simultaneously make your life entertaining and miserable. Still, you've raised a fine point. It would be best if you had excitement in your life. I have some bottom friends who like you, but you've been a busybody rejecting them whenever I throw them your way."

"If I didn't sacrifice personal pleasure, our small company wouldn't have grown to what it is now."

"Yea, Yea." Mun dismissed sarcastically. "Where there is a plus, there is a minus."

"Moreover, I'm thinking of going on a holiday. I haven't had one of those for almost four years, being a workaholic and all. Once I close the deal with our recent investor, I'll take a two-week holiday and detox from that homophobic idiot."

"He resigned, Ari. You won't have to see him again."

"Well, I scolded him, hoping he'd reconsider his decision. As much as I'd want him gone, I can't have him speaking badly about us out there to competitors. Additionally, being an employer puts me in a position to call out staff on their actions. His prejudices are baseless. Nonetheless, they are still prejudiced and shouldn't interfere with work. If he can't control himself, he will meet someone out there who won't treat him kindly. At least, he should realize there is no right way to live life and that work is work."

"So mature of you."

"Shut up." Ari threw a pillow at a giggling Mun, who caught it and threw it back at him. "I'm being serious here. It's all up to him, but I hope he suffers for making me feel bad about myself. Because of people like him, I've had to learn to put up with things I shouldn't have to."