Beautiful Dreamer

38. What's Mine Is Mine

'You are like an apple I can't seem to reach Ari. Perhaps you think this relationship a friends with benefits, but you are gravely mistaken. When I proposed to you, it must have sounded as if I were a desperate child, afraid to loose something they hold dear.

I despise your confusion, not knowing the difference between what you want and need. You need me, my dear...

Yes, that has to be it.

That is why you dare fancy a man with nothing but a temper to tame. Knowing you, it must be eating you alive, the guilt and resistance, the temptation to see him again, the pleasure he gave you... But your discipline has made you come to me, stay with me and live with me, fighting your primal dominant instincts...

Yes.

I must not become too greedy. After all, you gave up a position and a job that you loved so much just so you and I could become one, leaving everything behind and everyone you've inspired, including that brazen human!

Even so, I must calm myself down. My anger is not for you but for him. Soon enough, you and I shall overcome this rift that keeps growing between us.

Did you know mother won't stop talking about you? My siblings... My secretaries have equally caught on my jubilant mood these days, making me wonder what kind of a person I was before you accepted me. I haven't changed that much now, have I?

Perhaps you do care more about me, and I shouldn't ponder over negativity. I should practice optimism.

My dear Ari, it is my dream to finally have you in my arms, even if your mind is on someone less deserving of your attention. I wish you'd talk to me openly on this matter and allow me to help you forget him. I also want to know how you truly feel about me, or else I shall continue to feed off your little affections, even if you and I are not going anywhere in this relationship.

...But, what did I really expect? I'm only human, so Rey does rile me up with his lack of perceptiveness and forwardness. He has many things that I don't. He is much younger than both of us, too. Or perhaps you like younger, inexperienced men, too careless to stain your beautiful body with scars from sex.

Meeting that rouge was a mistake, scarring my confidence and self-esteem like that, making me question myself. I may not have anything attractive about me apart from my reputation, power, and money and despite that, not once have you asked a favour from me. You still stay with me at the end of the day. You return to me, choose me...

Should I consider myself lucky? Favored? Pitied? Or maybe you are used to low standards when it comes to lovers.

I'm aware that not everyone can look beyond my power and see me as a man, but you manage to see through my mask every day. Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing about you, my dear Ari. I'm flattered your body remembers me, even if it's me that isn't in your mind. You returned to me so it shouldn't matter.

Yes. You belong to me.

I'm equally aware of my acceptance to be willing to share you with another, but this is the first loss I've ever admitted in my life, but I still refuse to loose, even if it is a partial loss. I'll keep touching you and wanting to reach your deepest parts until our souls graze each other; and with each feeling and desire accompanying every push and pull, we will one day become one.

Take down those boundaries you have put around your heart and let me in, even if you don't care for me the same way I do. Let me show you what love really is. What you feel for that insolent can't compare to the connection shared from one dominant to another.

I'm the one making love to you right now, am I not?

You are wrong for letting him touch you! You confessed your sin and had me believe it was just a simple entanglement, but it was apparent the two of you went berserk on each other! I'm not his replacement Ari! I'm dominant!

I'm better than him!

Wait... I must calm down. I should be grateful. Having you like this, skin to skin, touch to touch... It is more than enough... For now.'

"Ari..." Ned called out in almost a whisper. Submerged in his thoughts, he became oblivious to his lover turning numb. Apparently, Ari had been unresponsive for a while, and he'd failed to notice.

"My dear..." He bent down, feeling Ari's soft breath playing on his cheek. "I must have been hard on you for you to pass out." 

Rubbing his nose onto Ari's lovingly, he smiled and shut his eyes briefly. He wondered if Rey had ever brought Ari to this state but then shook his head and rose up. He continued to watch her closely, muttering under his breath at how harder he kept falling for her, then sighed heavily, unsure of himself.

'I've sat in front of dictators, royalties and those whose bloods are bred of power, yet a mare beta commoner dares to threaten my stand. I must be out of my mind to become this complaisant. That fool is a threat. He may be out of line, but he certainly is intelligent.

No matter. I have you at the palm of my hands with that debt of yours. The time to test my theory has finally come.'

"Mr. Rey, I'll make you regret touching what's mine."