Breakups hurt- Pedri Gonzalez

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Breakups are never fun and most of the time they hurt but usually after a while you move on and find someone new or at least normal people do. However nearly two years on and I still haven't got over y/n. The worst part about it all is that I broke up with her so my pain is all my own fault. The two of us began dating not long after I moved to Barcelona and for a few months things were great we did everything together and I was truly falling for her. At some point things changed and we started fighting a lot about stupid things really but the fights were so constant that after a while it was clear neither of us were happy so I ended things. We were both so young that staying in an unhappy relationship didn't seem worth it but now I wish we just worked through things and grew together.

Right after the break up I missed her a lot as she was always by my side supporting me and although over the last two years this has faded sometimes I still wish she was by my side during the big moments. Going to the World Cup all I could think about was how I wished she was there to experience it all with me as we had talked about me one day hopefully making it to a World Cup while we were together. So many little things still hurt me more than I ever thought they would even all this time later. My biggest regret up to this point is definitely letting her go as she was my world and now without her I don't feel whole.

Occasionally I still look at her Instagram as we still follow each other but with the amount of people I follow it's hard to see her pictures on my feed. Over the years she has had a few different boyfriends while I haven't been with anyone else since as no one could ever compare to her. Seeing her with other guys isn't what hurts the most though it's seeing her so happy without me that kills me every time I look at her Instagram. She always seems to be having fun with her friends and smiling, genuinely smiling too which is something I took for granted during our time together. It's torture watching her enjoy her life without me but I can't stop myself as I have to know how she is and what's she's doing even though she isn't mine anymore.

My friends are always trying to set me up with other girls which has never worked out but they keep pushing and I already know that tonight will end up the same. Like always we will go out and they will find a girl who they think would be good for me and inevitably I won't like her and we will go round in circles. Despite that I'm still going to go with them as we are supposed to be celebrating the end of the season and I don't want to miss out on that.

On the way to the club I picked up Gavi and as we arrived a few of the other guys arrived at the same time so we all walked in together and met with everyone else who was going. We all sat down and tried to talk for a while and I actually started to enjoy myself as I was just left alone and not forced to talk to anyone even though there was a lot of pretty girls in the club. At some point a few of the guys disappeared to go get drinks or go and talk with a group of girls but I stayed put and enjoyed my own evening celebrating with the guys that already have girlfriends. For once I was actually enjoying a night out as my mind wasn't always thinking about y/n and the stupid mistakes I made which led to me losing the girl of my dreams forever.

My nice enjoyable night out didn't last much longer as it was ruined by Gavi coming back over laughing and getting me to look at some of the guys who were attempting to flirt with a group of girls. He clearly wasn't interested in any of them but Ansu, Balde, Ferran and Eric clearly were as even from a distance it was obvious they were trying to get these girls attention. I must admit it was funny to see them so desperate for these girl's attention even though on a normal day a few girls will willingly give them their numbers. It quickly turned to not being so funny anymore when I caught a glimpse of the girl Alejandro was flirting with. Straight away she looked familiar and then I saw that smile, a smile I could identify from a mile away. He was flirting with y/n and of course he didn't know that as I try not to bring her up too much as it hurts to talk about my mistakes but it hurts even more seeing someone else flirt with her right in front of my eyes especially one of my teammates.

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