She

Chapter 20

(Jungle By Emma Louise)

Julie's Pov

The bustling crowd, the loudness, the noise. I wanted it all to stop. I wanted everything to stop. Everything in my head, I wanted it all to go away. I didn't want to think anymore. This is the exact reason I didn't want to get attached.

I sat in my office chair, my door locked. I've been avoiding everyone. My brother has been blowing up my phone all day. Eryn has tried to come into the office, but nobody knew I was here.

I grabbed my phone, turning it on airplane mode, so nobody could see my location. Matteo has been texting me non-stop, but I just can't get over the fact that I let myself get attached.

I let myself laugh in front of him.

I taught him how to drive my car.

I let myself get attached to him, and it's making my head spin. I let myself fall for Matteo, and I can't. Mentally, I can't handle this. I can't handle feeling so attached, so needed, by one singular person.

Say something. Tell me to stay and I will stay.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and felt my heart break. The mascara ran down my face. My lipstick was smudged. My breathing picked up, and I wanted the mirror to shatter. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't.

My mouth shut quickly, and I felt my hands shake. I couldn't even speak to myself. I couldn't even say a word when it's just me in the room. How could I ever talk to someone else? How could I ever let someone else be let in?

How could I ever be heard if I don't let myself be heard.

I need to breathe. I need air. I need to-

I stood up in a panic. Grabbing my stuff, opening the door and rushing out of the bar. I could feel everyone's stares on me as I rushed out of the bar.

"Julie!" I heard Eryn yell after me, but I quickly got into my car, throwing my stuff into my passenger seat. I saw both Eryn and Rylee jogging closer to me.

I started the car, locking my doors, and quickly reversing and turning out of the parking lot. I turned the radio up to drown out my thoughts. There was no way in hell that I was turning my phone back on now.

I was too far into pushing everyone away. I leaned my head on the headrest, as I shifted and went quicker. My body jerked forward, and I had to hold myself back. The wind ran throughout the car, causing everything to become cold.

I felt like I was being thrown in an ice cold pool. Everything became real. I've been living a constant cycle of sleeping, working, doing normal everyday activities. Now my constant cycle is ruined because of this guy?

All because I'm obsessed with this guy, my life has been flipped completely upside down. Everything in this world was flipped upside down, and I rushed to put the pieces back into place. But how could I put things back in place if I didn't know where it went in the first place?

I pulled into the same parking lot as earlier this morning. The darkness enveloped my silence, as I got out of my car. I laid across the hood of my car, and I looked up at the stars.

They always shined brighter when the world fell like it was falling apart.

This is the moment I let everything fall apart. The tears ran down my face as I let my hands fall to my sides. The warmth of the car kept me warm from the late cool air. The wind blew at vast speeds, but at this moment, it was just me.