She

Chapter 24

(Colors By Halsey)

Julie's Pov

TW- Talk Of Abuse & Drugs

Anxiety.

That's all I felt. I stared at Matteo as he ran around his apartment. He changed into sweatpants, and took his boots off. He was still wearing a tanktop. He looked way too good for my liking. Especially right at this moment when I should be having another panic attack. 

"Do you want water? Soda? Juice? I can have anything delivered. Do you want something to eat? Are you hungry?" He rambled, the questions coming in at lightning speed as I took my shoes off, leaving them by the door.

"Water is fine." I felt like I was going to throw up. My voice hurts, because of how much I don't speak. He froze again, but quickly recovered this time.

I talk to myself sometimes so I can make sure nothing bad happens, but I never say more than a sentence a week. It's just to make sure that I can still speak.

"What do you like to eat? Do you want me to order a pizza? Wings? We have fast food-"

"Relax, Matteo." I put my hands on his shoulders, steadying him from running back into the kitchen after putting my water on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Fuck, Jules. Wait– Is that an accent I hear?" His cheeks lifted as he smiled before I dropped my hands from his shoulders.

"Queens." I responded, walking around his living room and spotting a blanket.

"New York?" He asked, as I grabbed the blanket and wrapped myself in it. I nodded my head as I turned back to face him.

"Do you want a hoodie? Are you cold?" He asked, while I shrugged, sitting down on his couch, curling into a ball.

He walked into what I assumed to be his room, and came out with a black and red hoodie. He handed it to me, before I slipped it over my purple crop top. He walked down the hall to another room, opening the door and coming out with a pack of wipes.

He sat on the couch next to me, cupping my face, taking a wipe and wiping off my makeup.

"Sister." He said, noticing me eyeing the makeup wipes.

I hummed in response as his fingers gently ran across my face. I closed my eyes, taking a moment to finally breathe. I've had so much panic and anxiety the past three days. I've been struggling.

I didn't think when I drove down here that i would speak to him, but the world happens the way things are supposed to.

"Keep your eyes closed." He mumbled, softly pressing down against my eyelid.

The silence controlled us, but I knew the question I was dreading was coming. I knew that he would ask questions, and I don't know if I'm prepared for it.

"Why'd you ignore me?" He asked, and I felt my heart stop. I kept my eyes closed, not only because he was still trying to get my mascara off, but because I was too scared to see his face.

"You scared me. You still kind of do." His hands stopped, causing me to open my eyes nervously.

"I scare you?" He asked in an upset tone, and I felt my face heat up.

"Not- Fuck. Um-"

"Say fuck again." He asked and I looked at him with a confused expression.

"Fuck?" He threw his head back and let out a loud laugh.