Crumbling Walls | Erwin Smith x Reader 18+

Chapter 9

I'm Just Like You

You walked after him, your fingers still clutched to his cloak as if he'll disappear, or you snap from some dream you're having, if you ever let go of it. You don't look around as you walk, you don't comprehend the many gazes landing on you two as you make your way up the stairs. Erwin doesn't either, but that's just because he's incapable of grasping anything else at the moment.

He looks so upset, so angry...

Walking, taking the stairs to another floor, you feel your chest bracing and air gets too heavy to drag in. You're getting nervous, and growing anxious with each step your feet take because you still don't know what he'll say or do. The last time you were with him, ended up with him smashing his glass against the wall, freaking you out in the process and sending you away.

But I want to clear things now...

You keep reminding yourself, keep Hange's words replaying in your head.

When you clear the third floor stairs, you notice he takes another turn. Not the left hallway that leads to his office, but you walk to the right with him. He keeps on leading the way to you until you reach a narrow hallway, with a few dark wooden doors on either sides. And Erwin walks to the last one at the end of that hall, where a more heavy wooden door is located.

Still, no words spoken between you, he twists the knob and walks in casually.

Your feet halt momentarily and your fingers clutch harder to his cloak as you watch him walk in before you. You stay there, your eyes looking at the frame, the shapes and swirls carved into it, at what little is visible of the room inside, and at his shadow already moving in there. With a few deep breaths, and a shake in your head, clearing your thoughts away, you finally move your feet and walk in as well.

This's his room!

Instantly, your eyes start roving around, taking everything in as quick as possible.

Standing by the door, you're facing a big window in front of you on the other side. Covered with thick, long drapes the color of deep burgundy from the ceiling to the floor. A set of fancy two cushioned chairs are located right near those drapes, taking place at left corner of the room. Then next to them, your left, is a huge dark fireplace. With a big tiled mantle all around, and a bunch of books on top, next to two golden candlesticks on either sides. Already lit and flickering.

Of course someone had prepared his room for him...

Your eyes keep observing. You see a fur rug is placed in front of the fireplace on the floor. It looks like the skin of a wild animal. Large, but it looks soft and the color of burnt walnut. A bear maybe, you think as you keep your eyes moving. Next to the fireplace is another door, and Erwin dashes right into it without so much as a bat of a lid in your direction. Your eyes get to glance quickly at what's inside to realize that it's an inside bathroom and probably a toilet.

Your chest rises in a deep inhale and you take one more step in when he closes the bathroom door shut. Closing the door of his room behind you, your eyes resume to wandering freely again.

To your right is his bed, facing that fireplace. So big and wide, with multiple cushions neatly decorating it. White, clean sheets and duvet stretched tightly. With nothing over the end of the bed but the jacket he just took off and threw there. Your chest sighs as you move to it, unconsciously trying to busy yourself while you wait for him.

Or more like trying to slow the race of the thoughts in your head and the heartbeat in your chest.

I'm still not sure what I should say to him!