Crumbling Walls | Erwin Smith x Reader 18+

Chapter 29

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You're still staring at him. And he's still staring right back at you. Almost gaping. As if both of you are seeing a ghost. Because the last time you saw each other, the last time you held his eyes in yours, was when you both thought you were about to die. Surrounded by fire and smoke and stained with blood. When you heard his shallow breath slowing and saw the life seeping out of him in that dark office.

A shiver crawls over your skin at the memory, but you blink and force it away. "You're..."

You're the first one to talk, or try to talk, but the words seem to jab and stick in your throat. You grip the door tighter and press your fingers against the wood to gain a little focus. To fathom that you have control here, and this in no way or shape is a dream. Or one of your nightmares, that will somehow end in you seeing him getting stabbed all over again.

The wood bites back at your nails in a very real pain to remind you that,

This is real...

Erwin's mouth tugs a little, an amused smile, then his eyes flicker to your background. Then back at you. "Am I not welcomed here?"

Fuck...

"Of course you are!" You say, voice a little whispery and then immediately step aside. Cursing yourself internally. "Of course..." You whisper again.

Erwin steps in, carefully, yet casually. And you press yourself against the wall as you stare at him. Stare so hard and wide eyed that you don't even notice what he's doing. What he'd put down by the door before walking himself into the hallway. You gulp and shut the door, never taking your eyes off of him. His shoulders seem relaxed and not the least bit tensed. Not as yours are. You take a deep breath and try to loosen your nerves.

He's here...

"Levi didn't mention you were here," then you stop, wringing your fingers, that breath did nothing to ease your nerves. "Sir."

Erwin's hands go into his pockets as he stands there and roams his eyes all over the hallway. "I'm not your sir." He murmurs, his words cause a rush of apprehension to flood into your still stunned body.

Of course he's not anymore...

You only keep on watching how his presence is already taking over the entire atmosphere inside the cool and dimly lit house. And without any other word, he takes a few steps and walks himself into your living room. Giving himself a tour of the place.

Fuck...

You quickly follow him, barefoot and panicking, your heart doing skips inside your chest and your face heats in embarrassment. Because it's messy. Everything is messy. You haven't noticed how messy and untidy the place is until now. Until you had company. And out of all the people, it's Erwin.

Your. Erwin.

Fuck, again..

The sofa is practically a mountain of clothes and throw blankets and fluffy cushions. The deserted and dusty fireplace mantel is piled up with books and candlesticks. There're empty glasses over the side table and another pile of books. On the very far left corner, near the window, there's a chair that has two thick balls of yarn and knitting needles. You can feel Erwin's eyes spotting them as he stands in the middle. Because he loosens out a short, amused breath and you bite back your shy smile.