Die for You

24| Joseph

I never knew I would find out I'm a father as I'm getting ready for me to be married. I never, in fact, expected for me to be married at all.

It was all unexpected, and I'm proud of who I am today. If I were to tell the Joseph I used to be, the Joseph before Jade came into his life, of who he would come to be now, of how he would turn to me one day because of Jade, I would gladly tell him. So he can have more hopes.

My life was so much more different than it used to be compared to how it is now. I mean, I am no longer 16. Other than that, 16 year old Joseph found no meaning in life. Now my only meaning is Jade, and it will only be her...

My face went to the side as the force hit my left cheek. I tasted the blood in my mouth, yet I wasn't bleeding, so where did the taste of metal come from? That was a mystery to go on for many, many years.

A male voice screamed in my face, full of disappointment and anger. "You bastard! You're weak! Love will get you nowhere in life!" His voice was loud, yet I could hear nothing but my own voice chanting things in my mind.

'Kill him,' said my own voice. I pulled out my gun and aimed it right in his head, pulling the trigger before he even had a chance to speak. The bullet went through his skull, blood splashing out in his spot as he dropped to the floor, dead.

He wasn't wrong. Love will get me nowhere. It's the reason why I killed him. I loved my father, regardless of all the pain he caused me. A girl's voice screamed in terror and I turned to see Janessa, who was screaming at what I had done. I pointed the gun at her and shot her, a bullet going through her left eye.

I killed the love I have just by getting rid of the two people I have love for. I'm not weak. Love is what brings me pain and weakens my heart. I can't love, I won't love. I won't ever feel love for a thing or a person at any cost. Or I will just have to kill it.

I look at Jade, filled with a mixture of many emotions. For one, I was nervous. I'm about to become a father. I've never been a dad, I am nervous about how I will do. Second, I'm excited. I'm here with the love of my life, the girl who is about to become my wife, telling me we get to have a family. She is holding the one thing that we made because of our love inside her, as we get to watch it blossom into its own. Third, I am terrified. I have never been good with children. Kids have cried just by looking at me in the eyes. What am I going to do with my own kid? I don't want it to be afraid of me.

I hugged her tightly and kissed her happily. I made the attempt to dip her as we kissed but that failed. We fell to the floor. I laughed with her when we realized what happened. We started laughing and pulled each other back into a kiss.

I'm so goddamn excited. I get to marry this amazing woman, have a kid with her, and spend the rest of my life with her.

Nothing could ruin this.

Right?