The secrets I hold

The plan

I had just got done arguing with my mom.

I screamed and threw a little table. "I can't wait to I leave I don't want to be here"

What she told me shocked me. Those words gutted my insides.

"I don't want you too be here, either I can't wait till you leave so I can get peace" she screamed.

I ran up the stairs, slammed the door. I was about to cut, when she walked in.

" go pick up the table! Downstairs now!!" she screamed.

"Not now, when I calm Down. Please leave" I whispered loud enough for her to hear.

"No, now" she sated flatly.

When I didn't move she screamed that she can mess things up too.

She threw all my stuff off my dresser. She messed all my clothes up.

Broke almost everything.

"Get out! Just leave me alone!" I screamed tears rimming my eyes.

I couldn't take it anymore. When she did that she set something that I been burying off. I grabbed a bag of pills I keep for stomach aches I took a few. Then instantly regretted it.

I ran to the toilet trying to throw up. I couldn't. So I thought that was it,nits too late might as well go through with it completely. I took more and more. I lost count. I started to get dizzy.

I went down stairs hugged her my last time. I told her what I did. She went to call the cops.

The ambulance was on there way. I kept screaming at her to let me die. That this is what I wanted to do. But she said she couldnt. I was getting tired and tired. She didn't try to comfort me she went down stairs and made dinner for the kids.

Left me upstairs alone. The ambulance never came. I woke up in my own bed. What hurt the most, was that when my little brother has a stomach ache. She takes him to the ER but when I attempt suicide I get nothing.

Yeah I wanted to die, but if she card she would have done something, ANYTHING!

But no she acted like nothing happened. Like I said before our relationship was over when she choose that bastard over me.

She was done,when she still talked to Raul. Inviting him over to our house. MY HOUSE!

Fuck, I hated her for so long for letting me go through this shit. People wouldn't get what I go through unless. They went through it. It's easy to say, I'm over reacting until you been through..the things I been through.