🎂 Chapter 1

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by Pauconite

by Pauconite

Shit shit shit shit shit. Where is he? Where is he??? Oooooh god, nooo I had such a cool storyline planned for him. Ah SHIT! He was supposed to-

- ...but they're less aggressive if you use these pheromones.

Huh?

- Of course! And you know that because you are a doctor in flower science! My good friend Blix!

Blix? Oh hell yeah! This is my chance!! I can take my story back!! A new beginning for my career!!!!!

- That is exactly so, dearest Bilx. But you are something of a scientist yourself, are you not?
- Indeed, I have a PhD in the composition of cave walls, which is why we can travel through these caves without getting lost!

Uuuh...what's going on? They sound different.

- Hey, Biix, who invented a way to create food and water out of nothing, may you provide me with sustenance, if you please?
- But of course, Blix my friend whom I have known since we were children...
- ...despite not being related by blood! Thank you! I will now consume the nutrients you have produced.

Hahaha excuse me?! Is this how she fixed my story? Let's put a spin on that.

As they were walking, the floor suddenly opened-

- My friends, we must pause here!
- What is going on, dearest of friends?
- Look at the wall. See those marks? They go down to the floor. One more step, and badaboom! Goblin jelly.
- You are so smart, friend who is a friend.

What? Did he just...No, I can't believe it. It has to be a coincidence.

They walk past a corner, when suddenly, a giant spider appears. It looks big and scary!!!!! BIG!!!! It approaches them and-

- Here my spidery friend, a can of worms just for you!
- Wow, Blix, thanks to your PhD in spider science, you could tell at a glance what this spider was feeling!
- Indeed, my good friend Blix! See, the spider's hair was orange, which means it is hungry.
- Thank you! But I'm Bilx. You're Blix!
- Oh, haha, sorry, I'll get it right the next time.
- I wasn't talking to you Biix, I was talking to Blix.
- Oh, my apologies.
- Why are you answering yourself?
- I'm not answering myself? I was answering Bilx.
- You are Bilx!
- No, I'm Blix, you're Bilx.
- I wasn't talking to you Blix! You're Biix!
- That doesn't make any sense!

STOP!