It Will All Work Out (Intersex gxg)

Chapter 25

Amber's POV - Age 15

Amy was right, being her assistant in the kickboxing class helped a lot. It definitely got my mind off of Shay for an hour, which was good. Unfortunately, the rest of the day I was somewhat fixated on the blue eyed blonde who I knew was probably hurting as badly as I was. I wasn't happy about that, it wasn't like I set out to hurt her, it was just a byproduct of our falling out. But much like with Nicky and the others, I had to start standing up for myself. I didn't want to be hurt anymore by anyone. Especially someone who I'd thought could have been my perfect partner.

In the meantime, Owen and Amy made things easy for me by keeping me busy. I'd started being the assistant in a lot of the classes, and then Amy started showing me some of the paperwork that she and Owen had to do in managing the gym. Yes, I knew what they were doing, but I appreciated the assistance in keeping my mind occupied so that I didn't dwell on things with Shay.

Not to mention, they could only do so much, as I still rode right past her work whenever I went to or from the gym. Her bike was back to being parked there, so I guess she had stopped driving, or maybe that girl had been giving her a ride, which still made me ill every time I thought about it. I still couldn't flush the image of them in the front seat together from my mind, and I wasn't sure I ever would.

On my trips to and from work, I rode as fast as I could now, not bothering to look for Shay. It was almost my birthday, and she was the only drawback to my life now that my mom was still going strong. She'd applied for a few jobs, and even got a couple interviews, so I was hopeful that she'd find something soon. It might give her another bit of self-purpose, and that would hopefully be good for her sobriety. My work was going perfectly, and while I hadn't banked a ton of money, I was doing well enough that I could see a motorcycle in my future some time in college.

Owen was even kind enough to offer riding lessons when I was old enough, so I had that going for me too.

My birthday looked like it would be boring, which I didn't like. I would have preferred to be at work, just so I could keep busy, because there wasn't much that could keep my brain from thinking about Shay, which I just couldn't help. I guess when you miss someone that much it's natural, but the thoughts I was having lately would usually wake me up with my body in quite the mood, and I had taken several cold showers because of my dreams of her. My heart may be hurting because of her, but my body still remembered how she looked and how her lips had felt.

Did I take care of myself before the showers? Maybe. Did I sit in my treehouse and watch her do push ups by the pool and wish I was under her? Again, maybe. I may have been angry, I may have stopped communicating with her and wanting to be with her, but it didn't mean that I didn't notice her. I just couldn't let her back into my life, not even as a friend. It hurt too much.

But my dreams seemed to think she should absolutely be in my life, at least while I slept. Figuring out her secret had been eye opening, and it had been a complete fluke that I even realized what it was. I'll admit, I didn't know much about that kind of stuff at my age. I knew I was into girls, and I never really thought much beyond that. A few days before Shay's birthday, Owen had talked to all the staff about inclusivity, and mentioned that we had a few trans men and women working out at the gym, and that they were looking to make sure that they all felt welcome. Somewhere in that speech, he mentioned the word intersex, and I had no idea what he meant until I looked it up. I still wasn't 100% clear on it, as it seemed like there were a lot of different ways it could present. For some people, it could be obvious, in others they might not know without a genetic test. But when I thought about Shay that day in the treehouse when everything had come crashing down, it was the only thing that made sense.