It Will All Work Out (Intersex gxg)

Chapter 32

Shay's POV

For the first time in ages, I went to sleep with a smile on my face. I finally had Amber back in my life, and I was determined to not screw up again. No, she wasn't my girlfriend, though I hoped that would come in time, but she was willing to go back to being friends, and that was a huge step for me. I was sure that I had almost no leeway now, and that she'd run if I messed up again, so I had to do whatever it took to keep our friendship secure.

The last seven months had completely sucked without Amber around. The worst thing was, I couldn't complain because I'd done it all to myself, and I had to live with the consequences. Seeing her every day at the bus stop, sitting behind her and staring at her on the way to school, seeing her in the hallways, they were all pure torture.

But perhaps nothing was worse than realizing that she'd changed away from the bubblegum scents. That had always been one of the highlights of my day, being close enough to smell Amber, and knowing that she was doing it just for me because of my love for bubblegum ice cream. So, when she changed everything before school started, I knew that she was trying to disassociate herself from me. How could I blame her? I'd broken her heart, again, and she had every reason not to want any reminders of that.

Still, every time I was near her, it hurt. It wasn't like the new scent was bad, it was very pretty. But to me, Amber would always be my bubblegum scented princess. No, and not in an Adventure Time way! I hoped that someday she could go back to that, because then I'd know that I was making progress. I told myself not to expect it, that maybe once we'd been friends again for a while, she would allow it, but I could hope.

I missed so many of the little things we'd had. The ice cream trips, the movie watching and snuggling, the shopping trips, cooking lessons, and the way she'd look at me with her gorgeous brown eyes that made me feel like everything would be okay. It killed me that I never had the guts to talk to her about things before the girls made me think stupid things and I went and let Gail flirt and get me into the car to make out, because she'd been absolutely right. She did like me. She liked me the entire time, even when I had hurt her after the kiss in the pool. Even worse, I knew it, and made bad assumptions that cost me her presence for much too long.

And don't get me started on the times she fed me ice cream at work, which were some of the best memories I have in my entire life. She would always have a twinkle in her eye when she did that, like she knew a secret. She probably did, because that right there might have made me fall for her in an instant, and I think she realized it. I really wanted her to look at me like that again. Hell, I wanted her to look at me in any way that wasn't with her in pain. I'd seen way too much of that lately.

Seeing her with Maddie was probably the hardest thing though. I hadn't thought much about it at first in the last week of school before the break, because I just thought it was a new friendship. Of course, my darling sister informed me that it wasn't that at all, and that they were going to the Snowball Dance together.

How could I fault her? She was obviously trying to move on, and I'd thought Maddie made her happy. Hearing from Lynn after New Years that Maddie and Amber had rung in the new year together in bed had me puking though. I'm not even kidding, I puked up breakfast, which made Lynn cackle like a damn witch. She is one, so it fits.

Then there they were, for over a month in school walking around holding hands and looking all cute. As much as I wanted to hate it, I couldn't, because Amber was smiling again. She was happy, and Maddie was the one doing that for her.

Until Valentine's Day of course. Seeing Nicky's big grin as Amber hurried away infuriated me, and I was ready to punch her in the face right there in school, but I didn't need the suspension when I was so close to getting out. That obviously explained why Lynn had known all about the things about Maddie's time with Amber, because Maddie had been telling her because it was all a setup. They were all sickening.