Tacoma Falls: Home and Heart

Run

Mary

Most people associate home as a structure with walls, windows, doors, and floors. While that is true, my family considers your family as home. The laughter, tears, anger, comfort, and other emotions come from other people. It's also where your heart is.

Unfortunately, I learned a foundation will crack when someone barrels through it. That someone was Beau Shaw.

Beau Shaw was my older brother, Hank's best friend since we could walk. We always saw Beau with Hank and vice versa. Where one was, so was the other.

Beau was almost family with as much time as he spent at our house. He became another fixture. I just didn't realize that fixture would demolish me and my heart.

Growing up with someone, you learn to accept their faults until you realize they have feet of clay. I'm not talking about molding clay, but the stuff in the ground that grows nothing. I should have listened to that inner voice that screamed run. But I didn't.

After I graduated high school, I started my college courses to become a teacher. Morgan ran off with Rodney and eloped, settling in Atlanta, Georgia. Amber was running from Rusty as he chased her something fierce. I started dating Roy, who seemed promising until he wasn't.

Two years is all that it took for me to discover that Prince Charming was a downright toad. I caught Roy with Barb Smith and dumped his lying, cheating ass. He should have told me he wanted to stop seeing me. I would have let him go instead of wasting two years of my life on him.

While dealing with my breakup, I spent more time around the corral, watching Pa, Hank, and Beau with the horses. At least it was better than moping about Roy. That's when I would learn people have feet of clay, especially Beau.

Beau and I started talking when he took a break. I didn't mind. It was no different than talking to Hank. I would say Grayson, but he doesn't say much.

Beau was on the outs with Dixie again. Run! So, we developed a nice friendship. Run!  We got closer. Run, damn it!

Yeah, I ignored that little voice in my head screaming at me to run.

Our conversations led to hanging out at Beau's place until, one night, he kissed me. I didn't want to read too much into it. So, I treated it like a random act until it wasn't. Beau and I ended up sleeping together.

It's not like I was pure by any means. Roy had been my first for many things. It was too lonely for people to turn to each other for comfort—a one-time thing.

But it wasn't.

Sex became a frequent occurrence between us. Run! Then Beau confessed he wanted to see where things would go between us. Run!  I agreed. You should have run.

Things were good for a while. Beau and I spent time together. The sex was amazing. And I was finding myself falling for my brother's best friend.

Then, one day, things took a terrible turn for me. Is it possible for your life to get flipped upside down in a matter of minutes?

I struggled with a test in one class and had a run-in with my ex, souring my mood. Instead of heading home, I hightailed it to Beau's place. I should have gone home.

Did you ever get a sense of dread? Yeah, my gut was screaming at me.

I arrived at Beau's place, walked around the back to the kitchen door, and stopped when I heard voices. Peeking into the open window, I saw Beau's back facing me, with Dixie standing in front of him.

"Mary and I are just friends," Beau said.

Crack. Here it comes.

"It doesn't seem like friends to me or anyone else," Dixie said.

"We're just friends. Mary is Hank's little sister, which makes her my sister," Beau said.

Crack. That splinter became wider.

"So, does this mean you and me again?"

Beau remained quiet but didn't say no.

"Why don't I remind you why we return to each other?" Dixie wrapped her arms around Beau's neck and pressed her lips to his.

Beau didn't push Dixie away.

Crash! The crack gave away as my heart shattered into a pile of rubble. I snuck away before Beau saw me, climbed into my car, and drove home. The tears fell down my cheeks as anger boiled inside of me.

Run!

Oh, I didn't run. I drove as fast as I could away from Beau Shaw and his useless words. I should have listened to my gut when it told me to run.

I didn't go home but drove straight to Amber's house. I didn't want my folks to ask questions of Hank to find out. I was a stupid, stupid girl for believing Beau.

I arrived at Amber's place and found her sitting on the front steps of her porch with a case of beer. I got out of the car and walked toward her. Each step felt heavy, as did my heart.

"You look like you had a rough night," Amber said.

I sat down beside her, grabbed a beer, and cracked it open. "That's an understatement of a lifetime."

"What happened?"

I took a big swig of beer to wash down the lump in my throat so I could talk. Then I told Amber everything.

"I never pegged Beau for destroying someone. But then again, I never pictured Morgan eloping with a toad." Amber chugged her beer.

"I want to forget Beau ever existed."

"Is that kind of hard with Beau working for your pa?"

"Not if I steer clear of Beau when he's over. Hank won't notice, and Grayson won't care."

"What about your folks?"

"I'll tell them I have to study for school. They won't question it."

"Mary, I want to say your ideal will work, but I won't. You and Beau are like the sun and moon. You orbit each other."

"Well, I hope Beau gets his ass burned." I polished off my beer before opening another one.

Amber let it go so I could drink myself stupid.

*****
After that night, I avoided Beau like the plague. If he was at my house when I was home, I stayed in my room. I would leave early for school and hang out in town.

My phone would ring with Beau's name flashing across the screen, or he would text me. I didn't bother answering either. Why? Did he want to tell me he got back together with Dixie? Newsflash, buddy. I saw it with my own two eyes. I didn't need Beau to tell me what I already knew.

But that wasn't good enough. Dixie cornered me every chance she got and rubbed her relationship with Beau in my face. She took great pleasure in my misery, telling me it would never last between Beau and me. Beau would always come back to her.

I got the message loud and clear. Dixie can have Beau.

I threw myself into my schooling and took summer classes. Ma and Pa worried about me. I told them I wanted to earn my teaching certificate faster so I could start my career. School kept me so busy that I didn't have time to think about Beau Shaw.

The problem with avoiding someone is they land smack back into your life. Life would get trickier for me when Beau made it his life's mission to prove me wrong.

Great.