Tacoma Falls: Home and Heart

Heart and home

Mary

My family taught me that your heart and home are the same thing. A home isn't a home without the people you love. Your heart is your family. When someone calls you their home, they tell you they love you. Beau had told me that at dinner. His words kept ringing in my head and thawing my heart.

What started as friendship had become more when he kissed me while sitting on his couch. The television played in the background while we talked and drank a beer. We had been doing this for the past few months. Just two people sharing their woe-is-me tales.

But something changed that night when Beau kissed me. It wasn't two friends commiserating over their horrible exes anymore. It was two people falling in love. Although I think we had been falling for a while. We were too stubborn to realize it.

Most times, after a kiss, things become awkward between people. But it didn't for us. We flirted subtly when we saw each other. My family assumed we were teasing each other. And Beau was the only one who called me Little Lamb. He had done that since we were kids. When I asked why, he said I was his little lamb. I should have figured it out years ago, but I didn't. Now, it made sense.

Beau opened his eyes and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before waking up. "Morning."

I had my head propped on my hand and turned on my side. "Morning."

"How long have you been awake?"

"A few hours."

Beau turned onto his side to face me with a pillow bunched in his hands. "You could have woken me."

"You needed your sleep, and I was thinking."

"About what?"

"Us."

Beau shot up and stared at me, waiting for the hammer to drop. "If I overstepped last night, I apologize. It won't happen again. You told me to work to earn your forgiveness and trust. I took advantage of it by sleeping beside you. I should have slept on the couch like I said I would."

I raised my brow. "Are you done losing your shit?"

"Little lamb, I don't want my words to mean nothing to you. I need action behind them."

"Then, why didn't you tell me how you felt all these years about me?"

"What?" Beau stared at me and blinked.

"You called me Little Lamb since we were kids. When I asked why, you said you wanted something just for you. I figured you wanted your own nickname for me. But you didn't." I sat up and curled my legs underneath each other.

Beau stared at me for a good long minute like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Beau, you never gave Dixie access to you like you did with me. You didn't talk to her about your family, grief, or love of horses. You never shared pieces of yourself with her. But you did all that with me. You only allowed me to see that side of you. Not even Hank got that privilege, and he was your best friend. A man doesn't show his vulnerability to someone unless he loves them."

Beau swallowed hard. "I spent years pining for you, hoping you liked me. Most people call it crushes when you're a kid. But that feeling never faded. When other boys came calling for you, I watched from afar. You always had some guy chasing after you. Who wouldn't? You were beyond beautiful. And I was some hick that grew up on a ranch. They could offer you more than what I could. So, when Dalton offered me a job to work on the ranch, I took it. If it gave me a glimpse of you, it was better than nothing."

"But you dated Dixie. Make that make sense because it doesn't."

"I figured I would never have a chance with you. Since Dixie wouldn't leave me alone, I figured it was better than nothing."