Post :
@loonylover
Don't talk to me while I'm rubbing my eye cause I ain't gonna hear you
Comments :
@plantguy101 - why does this make so much sense
Post :
@MionesHimbo
if u don't masturbate unfollow me cause if u can't even fuck with urself why should i
Comments :
None
Post :
@YESExplosives
me as a drug dealer
*giggles*
we don't have coke is Pepsi okay
Comments :
None
Post :
@lifesalie
wtf r daddy issues? just traumatize your father back
Comments :
@number1b1tch - targeted.
Post :
@ILoveFood
airdropping this to everyone in the courtroom
Comments :
None
Post :
@hazzap._
why can't trees give off smth useful like wifi
Comments :
@NOExplosives - so just fuck oxygen right?
Post :
@plantguy101
I kicked a pregnant woman once
Comments :
@number1b1tch - wth is wrong with you
|@plantguy101 - when I was in the womb chill mf
Post :
@loonyluna
what's worse than heartbreak?
Comments :
@BookWorm<3 - changing the answer on a test that was originally correct
Post :
@nottyoursb1tch
whats on your mind
Comments :
@ILoveFood - I wonder if I've ever bought milk from the same cow twice
Post :
@MionesHimbo
how come when a house is 'haunted' it's always a ghost from the 1700s like imagine a ghost from 2007 screaming 'ITS BRITTANY BITCH' at 3am
Comments :
None
Post :
@ILoveFood
knocking on my roommates door at 2am to ask if I can sleep with him and his boyfriend cause I threw up
Comments :
None
Post :
@YESExplosives
fucking hate bus drivers that don't wait for ye to sit down and just floor the cunt and ya end up close lining an old granny
Comments :
@lifesalie - I need to stop getting on Seamus' Twitter cause I be wanting to laugh mad hard in class
Post :
@BookWorm<3
one time I accidentally went to the men's washroom instead of the women's. only found out after I opened a pad and the person in the stall next to me said "Dude it must be a huge shit if you're having snacks in here, good luck."
Comments :
@number1b1tch - I choked on my water
@hazzap._ - WAIT THAT WAS YOU??
Post :
@bottomsup_3
girls will have a panic attack over a pimple but hit a curb at 60mph and say 'whoops'
Comments :
Nine
Post :
@MionesHimbo
guys be like 'she playing hard to get' like bro you playing hard to get rid of
Comments :
None
Post :
@plantguy101
y'all ever try to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so bystanders don't hear you fighting for your life
Comments :
@BookWorm<3 - tis my smoker lungs
Post :
@bottomsup_1
why do the woman never have to take a DNA test to see if it's their child
Comments :
@bottomsup_2 - I have no hope for humanity anymore
Post :
@loonylover
MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BEES TO MY CAR
I SPILLED
ALL OVER MY CAR
BEES ARE
INSIDE OF MY CAR
THEY COULD KILL ME
I'M ALLERGIC TO BEES
Comments :
@number1b1tch - I CANNOT stop laughing-
Post :
@NOExplosives
what confuses me is how some people take 40 minutes to shower what are you doing in there?? are you okay? camping trip?
Comments :
@YESExplosives - I just spent 40 minutes in the shower thinking why is there a thing called a grapefruit when there's a fruit called a grape
Post :
@plantguy101
what a fucking year this week has been.
Comments :
None
Post :
@number1b1tch
do you ever pull out your phone to check the time but you have to do it again because you forgot to look at the clock or am I just fucking stupid
Comments :
None
Post :
@nottyoursb1tch
if I bring you breakfast in bed just say thank you... Ion wanna hear all that "how tf did you get in my house?" shit
Comments :
None
Post :
@loonyluna
why is it so much easier to fall asleep on the couch unintentionally than to fall asleep in bed intentionally
Comments :
None
Post :
@loonylover
I just got kicked out of a flat earth Facebook group cuz I asked if the 6ft social distancing guideline had pushed anyone over the edge yet
Comments :
None
YOU ARE READING
Harry Potter Twitter AU
RandomModern AU They're all over 16 Ships : -Drarry -Pansmione -Blairon -Linny -Theoville -Deamus Characters(as of April 5th) : -Harry -Draco -Hermione -Pansy -Ron -Blaise -Ginny -Luna -Minnie Added : -Albus -Snape -Fred -George -Neville -Theo -Seamus -De...
