Destiny's Play!!

Chapter - 70

"I am the eldest among four sisters," she started, "my mother's name is Kiran and father's name was Rajneesh Khanna," she said then paused, "with four daughters in the house my parents struggled to keep up with the ever rising prices of even the basic commodities such as food and clothes. Being the eldest I helped as much as I could especially with taking care of my younger sisters," she smiled at the distant memory of her childhood days. Despite the chores she had loved her sisters. "My father owned a shop in the main market of Ludhiana. It wasn't big and most times we were in debt from the lenders but...he still made sure there was at least food on the table at the end of the day. He and my mother worked very hard. I never did engage in most things girls my age were doing back then. But I never complained. Maybe I understood. Or maybe I didn't have time to ponder. It didn't matter much. What you didn't have you didn't miss. Right from the beginning I had followed orders. It was so easy. To not think for yourself. Frankly, we weren't encouraged to think for ourselves either," she said thinking about those growing up years. "My mother was a staunch believer in society's restrictions on girls. Proper behavior was must. And my father enforced that code at home and outside. We were never taught to question what the elders decided for us, neither were we ever given permission to take decisions. And despite all of that our education was never stopped no matter how hard pressed we were financially," she said and smiled sadly. "Things changed for the worst for us when my father died in a bus collision while coming back from Amritsar," she said and halted again. She remembered how lost she had been when the news had been broken to her. Future had looked bleak. Fortunately or unfortunately they hadn't had time to grieve or mourn his death for a long time. Lenders had started lining up outside and they had to get their acts together and get the loans paid off somehow. "My mother took a stand and kept us together. And soon it started taking a toll on her. Emotionally she was a mess but she was the only one who kept us going. She aged much before her age. I was only seventeen and couldn't do much to help out financially but whatever was asked of me I did without ever questioning it. I guess it became a habit," she said and looked up to see how he was faring.

His face was a brooding mask. She couldn't make out a thing. There were shutters over his eyes and with that neutral expression she couldn't really tell what he was thinking. But he was alert. He was listening to every word she was telling him. She sighed. Then turned around again and huddling her knees together kept her chin on them.

"I had always been a good student," she went on, "books for me had always been an encouragement actually more of an escape route. I always found peace when I was around them. They made me dream," she said wistfully, "of a future I could have. They made me believe I could rise above all of my misfortune and help my family someday," she said lost in her thoughts, "when I reached college I received a scholarship of merit and it felt like a breather," she said, "at least my college fees was exempted. Then I started taking tuitions," she went ahead remembering those years of hard labor as if they had taken place just yesterday, "that way I could help out with some kind of finance in the house. Ma was busy with the shop and other daily chores. It was tough but we were managing just fine," she said then halted reminded of how she had found she was interested in art, "the art faculty at our college held a five month workshop. I had never known I was interested till I joined that workshop," she told him. "Ma had told me she couldn't afford luxurious hobbies and if I was to do it I should find the funds all on my own," she said sadly, "and you know what," she said but did not wait for him to answer, "I did. I worked part time and arranged the funds. For the first time in my life I rebelled a little and did what I had so wanted to do," she said and smiled at the memory. How happy she had been. How victorious she had felt in that moment. How ecstatic. She couldn't even begin to describe how she had felt. Sadly it was never appreciated.

"My mother had been furious," she said, "but in that moment it hadn't mattered. I learnt how to sketch and I practiced day in and day out. I had achieved something all on my own even though everyone thought of it as a useless skill, a frivolous activity but I enjoyed it so much I decided to have a career in the field. I had always wanted to be an interior designer. And though I knew being able to sketch and being able to design an entire room were two separate things but...how do I explain. Doing that workshop, being able to sketch made me feel closer to my dream," she said frowning wondering if she was making any sense. "Then some relative suggested doing a teaching course was one of the best things for a girl. A lot of people wanted to get their sons married to a girl who was a teacher and my mother was all for it. I knew doing a design course was expensive. And we couldn't really afford it. What with three other sisters still in school and approaching college. Not all of them would be able to get a scholarship and I decided to do a teaching course. I would be able to help at home and maybe just maybe I could save some money and do that design course later," she said. "I don't know if I am making any sense to you but in simple words I had always been a quiet girl. It is a part of who I am. Though when it engulfed me completely I never found out," she said sadly. So far it had only been a struggle to survive, to be able to get somewhere. But it changed from here. This was the hard part. The part that had changed her whole life.