Freefall // Hyunlix

Reaching Out

Hyunlix were cuddled together on the hospital bed as Dr Choi and a nurse walked in.

"Good evening Hyunjin, Felix," he said, greeting each of them in turn. "We're going to give you your first feed now Hyunjin, I hope that's okay. Whilst we're here, we would like to check your vitals too." Hyunjin looked at his boyfriend nervously. He was still afraid of food, but if Felix said it was okay, then it would be. His boyfriend would protect him. Felix gave Hyunjin a nod and he placed a small kiss on the boy's cheek. "It will be okay Jinnie, you deserve to eat. You deserve happiness."

With that, Hyunjin gave his permission to Dr Choi. The nurse took Hyunjin's blood pressure, it was still unstable but it was marginally improving with the medicine and nutrients they were pumping him with. His heart rate and O2 stats were the same but stable, those would improve with time. The nurse unhooked the empty bag on the IV stand and replaced it with a full one, he then carefully took the first lead out of Hyunjin's hand, putting in the new one. Hyunjin winced a little at this, the male had accidentally pressed on a sore spot from where he had ripped out his IV earlier. He watched nervously as the male got the bag of liquid food out from the table and hung it on the IV stand. The nurse clipped the end of the bag to the tube before starting the feed, Hyunjin felt instantly sick. His mind was whirring at all the unknown calories that were entering his body, the voices coming back to taunt him.

"No! Make it stop please!" Hyunjin cried, cowering into a ball. His hands were over his ears, his knees up to his chin and his eyes were screwed shut.

"You thought you could escape us. You dirty pig. Look at you, being forced to eat food. Think of the calories Hyunjin, the weight you will put on, how bloated and fat you will be. Don't you just enjoy it, you're such an attention seeker. It's pathetic. You're pathetic. "

"Please leave me alone, please" Hyunjin pleaded, tears spilling from his face. Dr Choi watched the scene unfold, not daring to intervene. He was beginning to piece together Hyunjin's 'food problem' more carefully now, especially after accidentally overhearing Hyunjin's confession to Felix earlier.

Hyunjin was an emotional wreck. He spent the next two hours curled up in a ball, whimpering. Even Felix couldn't make him feel better, he was in that much of a state. Dr Choi wasn't concerned and that pissed Felix off. He stepped out of Hyunjins' room to confront the doctor about his behaviour, annoyed with the how the other was behaving. Dr Choi was equally amused with Felix, noticing the confrontive nature of their meeting.

"Do something." Felix said sharply, glaring at the doctor.

"What would you like me to do Felix?" Dr Choi responded simply.

"I don't know. Look at him. Help Him." Felix barked back, emotion laced through every word. Dr Choi could tell he deeply cared for the boy and was very possessive of him.

"Felix, he has to break eventually. I am simply watching his behaviour, monitoring him until he is ready to tell me the truth." Dr Choi said, gazing into the young boy's eyes.

"But-" Felix began, but he was cut off abruptly.

"Look Felix." Dr Choi started. "Hyunjin is here because he tried to kill himself and he has an eating disorder. There are so many messed up things going on his his mind and the only way I am going to be able to help Hyunjin is by having him accept that he needs help. Right now that boy is broken, perhaps teetering on the edge. If I go in there and comfort him, how will he realise that he needs help? He believes he can deal with this all on his own, eventually that stubborness will wear down and he will reach out when he feels vulnerable. Only then can we treat him, only then can we be of help to him."

Felix felt conflicted. Hyunjin was in pain, Hyunjin was hurting and he could do nothing. Every instinct within him screamed to offer comfort to the younger, to go in and guide him through his misery, his pain. But thats not what Dr Choi wanted. Would he be hindering Hyunjin's progress by trying to help? Would he be holding the other back?

Felix was lost in thought.

He simply went back into Hyunjins room and watched him, his heart breaking with every increased sob.

— 1 hour later —

Hyunjin had stopped crying, he felt desolate. Empty. He wanted it to end. He wanted to be happy again. Looking up he saw a teary eyed Felix, asleep in a chair. Deciding not to disturb him, he made his way to the door, calling out for Dr Choi. The doctor came instantly, looking at Hyunjin's broken expression.

"Are you ready to talk Hyunjin?"

Hyunjin nodded solemly.