Freefall // Hyunlix

True Love

<Hyunjin>

The car ride back was quiet. I was sandwiched in between Minho hyung and Chan hyung, with Changbin hyung in the front seat. I suppose it was their way of protecting me. I don't need protection, I'm going to save myself. I'll miss moments like these, the affectionate exchanges between me and the other members. It's something that I will carry with me forever, something that I treasure and something that I'll be eternally grateful for. Arriving at the dorms, I slipped out of the car and made my way towards my room. I couldn't speak to them, I felt so happy but so emotional. My voice would betray me if I spoke to any of them, I could see it now, breaking as I cry into their arms. I cannot let that happen.

Thankfully, no one followed me into my room. What I was about to do was hard enough, I couldn't risk having someone walk in on me when I was so vulnerable. Sitting down hard at my desk, I grabbed a stack of A4 paper and a pen and began to write.

To Chan...

I finished up the last of my letters and let the tears flow. They cascaded down my cheeks with great force, I felt destroyed. Who knew saying goodbye could be so hard. I looked out my bedroom window one last time before heading to the bathroom. My only regret would be traumatising the person that finds me, so to them, I am truly sorry.

<Felix>

I need to talk to Chan. This can't go on any longer, something bad is going to happen, I can just feel it. I couldn't help but feel dread as I was separated from Hyunjin in the car ride home, he needs help and I'm not there. What if something happens? My leg was bouncing up and down and I played with my fingers restlessly. I couldn't engage with the others' conversation; my mind was too preoccupied. When we arrived back I pulled Chan into my room without saying a word, giving him a dark look.

"Chan" I started, my voice breaking in an instant. Tears poured down my face as I started my plea. "He needs help. Please. Chan I can't take it anymore, watching him fall apart. It feels like part of me is breaking, I can't just sit back and let it happen. We have to help him. We have to get him support. Please Chan."

"Lix, we have to wait for him to come to us. We can't force a confession out of him."

"NO CHAN! Can't you see what's happening before your eyes?! That boy is broken, our Hyunjin is broken. I'm scared of what he's going to do to himself. If we just stand around and wait, he's only going to get worse. What if, one day, were not there to catch him when he falls? I can't live without him, Chan. I can't. " I pleaded with him, his eyes began to widen slightly. I think the gravity of the situation finally hit home.

"Felix... What have you seen in him recently?" Chan asked me, there was an expression on his face that I just couldn't pinpoint. But it scared me. I'd never seen him look like that before.

"Chan, I don't know for certain but I think he's cutting again. He's more jumpy and agitated and just seems so sad all the time. He's so skinny Chan, he's wasting away in front of my eyes. " Chan nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. He seemed to be deep in thought.

"We should talk to Hyunjin." Chan said, standing up and making his way towards the door. I followed behind him, a horrible sinking feeling wrapped my stomach. My heart was pounding as we made our way along the corridor to his room. I watched as Chan knocked on Hyunjin's door but there was no response. I didn't wait for him to knock again and I burst into Hyunjin's room. But he wasn't there. Where was he?!

I started to panic. "Oh God Chan. I knew he'd do something. Where has he gone?! I can feel it, something bad has happened. We have to find him." It appeared Chan had the same sentiment as me and we immediately split up. Cries of Hyunjin's name echoed around the dorm as the other members looked on with worry. I reached the bathroom and pushed the door open slowly. A scream left my mouth before I could stop it.