Beyond Repair (Min Yoongi) [UPDATED]

18. Living and Reliving

Somehow, things felt jarringly normal after an afternoon in the neighborhood park, but Yoongi wasn't about to complain. His nightmares didn't get any better that night, but they stopped getting worse, and after the emotional rollercoaster of the past week or so, he decided that was progress. He had also grown more comfortable in his own skin and thereby much more comfortable with physical affection.

By the next morning, Yoongi was indulging in the same kind of casual touches he'd shared with his boyfriends before their world had been turned upside-down. The hand-holding was practically a given; it had been his favorite form of physical affection before, it simply held more meaning now; palms sliding together, fingers interlocking, and pulse-points finding each other whispered, I'm here, I love you, this is how we belong. Yoongi always made sure he'd recently bathed before going beyond that, but cuddles were growing more frequent, as well, and he'd started initiating hugs not out of necessity but out of simple fondness. He had even gone so far as to give good-morning cheek-kisses at breakfast. (He had started with Taehyung, simply because he was nearest to him, but when the others gathering around the table heard the little muahand saw Taehyung sitting there with ruby-red cheeks and diamonds in his eyes, they'd lined up for their turns and Yoongi hadn't been able to deny them the affection they'd all been so dearly craving from him.)

After breakfast and with no discussion whatsoever, Yoongi and his boyfriends collectively decided to hang out in the living room in their pajamas. Namjoon was reading what was apparently a riveting book, if the crease in his brow and the cute little noises he made were any indication. Hoseok was on his laptop viewing an article about scented candles, for whatever reason, and Jimin was reading over his shoulder. Seokjin and Taehyung were catching up on the latest episodes of some TV drama that only the two of them liked. Jungkook was spending his time on the balcony, starting on his panting.

As for Yoongi himself, he hadn't been this comfortable in a long time. He was currently sprawled out across the sofa with his body reclined against Seokjin's chest and his legs draped over Jimin and Hoseok's laps. They had all settled into this position without even thinking about it, as if it had been second nature to cuddle like this all alone. Though Yoongi was lying on top of three people, Jimin was the only one actively touching him—Jimin's fingernails traced lightly up and down Yoongi's outer thigh as he watched television, and in much the same absent-minded manner, Yoongi fidgeted with the rings on Jimin's free hand while scrolling through social media since he'd finally gathered the courage to see what people were saying after the press conference.

Since last Sunday, every major social media platform had been flooded with condolences, best wishes, and theories from fans around the world. At that point, Yoongi wouldn't be surprised if the fans found and caught Lee Daejung before the police got the chance.

Inevitably, there were also the occasional judgmental article or social media post about when he'd slapped himself onstage at the end of the conference, but those people were all but torn to shreds by dedicated ARMYs. Many of the links to such posts didn't even work when Yoongi came across them, having been taken down or altogether deleted due to the backlash.

Yoongi had thought being back in the spotlight would make him uncomfortable, but it was actually doing the opposite. Despite what some of his lyrics suggested, he'd always been a very down-to-earth celebrity who adored his fans with all his heart. Interacting with them was something he badly missed. For a second, he had half a mind to do a live stream right then, still in his pajamas first thing in the morning, but he decided against it, both wanting to look more presentable in his first live stream since his return home and having no idea what he'd talk about.

Besides, he was waiting for a phone call.

Well, technically, Namjoon was the one who would receive the call, but that was only because the police didn't yet have Yoongi's new phone number on file. Yoongi could only pay half attention to any one thing while waiting for Namjoon's phone to ring.