Beyond Repair (Min Yoongi) [UPDATED]

35. Comfort In Shadows

"Jimin," Yoongi murmured one morning as soon as he saw Jimin starting to wake. The sky was getting lighter, the sun peeking slightly above the horizon and streaking sharp lines of pale gold across the ceiling through the window blinds. It was quiet in the hospital room. Tranquil. Still, anticipation thrummed through Yoongi's veins, making him restless.

This was the day. The day Yoongi would be discharged from the hospital, barring any last-minute complications, to spend the remainder of his recovery at home. The day he could go home and finally, finally try to put everything behind him.

"Hmm?" Jimin answered blearily, eyelids just barely parting before slipping shut again.

Sleep schedule beyond fucked-up, Yoongi had been awake for some time already, tracing invisible doodles into Jimin's arm with his fingertips and staring at Jimin's peaceful face with a reverence that he couldn't put into words. He was glad everyone else was still asleep; he'd rather this conversation happen in private but he didn't think it could wait until they got home.

Yoongi's family was still in town, staying in a hotel that they didn't yet know they wouldn't be paying for. As far as Yoongi had been told, they'd been there for fifteen days—the day of his most recent surgery and two weeks after he woke up—and thankfully, over that time, Yoongi's parents seemed to have gotten over any disapproval they still harbored towards their youngest son's relationship.

It certainly seemed to help that they were there to witness so many panic attacks; as embarrassing as it was to fall apart in front of his parents, sometimes two or three times in one day, Yoongi was glad they got to see the aftermath. They'd seemed awestruck at the way his boyfriends had slowly brought him back to himself with soft-spoken reassurances, soothing touches, and talk of what they were going to do when they got home. Even Jimin managed to keep his wits about him, more often than not. When they saw how good the members were with Yoongi, how much easier it was for them than anyone else to pull Yoongi out of his own head and coax him back to the present, Yoongi's parents had evidently conceded that his boyfriends could help him better than they ever could. They saw the way Yoongi's shoulders weren't as hunched when any (but especially all) of his boyfriends were in the room, how his posture was more relaxed, how he spoke louder and without as much stammering. They saw how much calmer he was with his boyfriends than without them.

They'd even gone so far as to give their blessing over 'whatever the relationship between them all was', and though they hadn't said the word polyamory, they no longer pretended not to see when any of the members kissed Yoongi's face or hands, and Yoongi decided that was progress.

Still, the members had silently agreed to keep PDA to a minimum, at least until Yoongi's parents left. Needless to say, as soon as the Min family went back to their hotel room every night, Jimin had instantly crawled into Yoongi's bed, where he and Yoongi latched onto each other and refused to let go.

Overwhelming relief and an almost confounding feeling of peace bloomed warmly through Yoongi each time, from his head and chest all the way out to the tips of his fingers and toes, making him go boneless when he felt Jimin's familiar weight pressed against him at last. He could tell by the way Jimin's entire body relaxed as soon as he was in bed with him that Jimin felt the same.

Every kiss Yoongi and Jimin shared was somehow both chaste and needy at the same time. There wasn't any kind of sexual component to Yoongi's hunger for Jimin's touch, nor vice versa. After what they'd been through together, Yoongi doubted any relationship he had would be able to develop to that point for quite some time, if ever. No, the mutual craving was entirely innocent. Yoongi just needed to feel Jimin. To hold him and be held. Butterfly kisses, nose rubs, and foreheads pressed together became commonplace whenever Yoongi's parents weren't in the room, whenever Yoongi or Jimin felt the need to remind themselves (and each other) that yes, they were both there, safe and alive.