Silver Lining | ʟᴇᴠɪ ᴀᴄᴋᴇʀᴍᴀɴɴ

Chapter 26

I'm sitting on his bed, and I think it's the happiest I've been in a very long time. Levi is at his desk, going over the plan for tomorrow's excursion beyond the wall. He's been doing that for the last hour.

My back is leaning against the wall, and I'm just watching him, listening to him breathe. He's beautiful. We're completely silent, not saying a word. He's gorgeous. It hits me every second more how much I like him and how little I ever want to lose him.

It's late. The others are already in bed, I think, though they're probably not asleep yet. I don't think any of us will be able to get a good night's sleep tonight. At dinner, the nerves reached a new high, tensions exploding in all of us, making us jittery and anxious.

Levi has tried to convince me for a while that everything will be alright, and I want to believe him, I really do. But the thing is that we can never know for sure. We can say that things will be alright, that we will all come back from the excursion, that we will have dinner together tomorrow again. We can say that, but we can't know.

I watched the Scouts for years, waiting for them to come back home. Jean and I used to climb up on roofs to look out over the crowd when the horses came through the gates. We watched the wings on their coats wave with the wind as the Scout Regiment followed their commander. We watched the horrified faces of the people around them when they realized that more people had left the city than returned.

I know that someday, that same fate will hit one of us, too. It's not a question of if that day will come. It's a question of when. And the thought of losing one of our own unsettles me, especially when I think about the people here in the Special Operations Squad. I can't bear the thought of losing one of them.

Eren is ready. Before dinner, he and I sat together, and he told me that he's ready. He said he's ready to fight, even if the others don't want him to. Because the plan is simple: Eren can and must not transform.

Captain Levi hasn't told me anything about tomorrow's mission. I know that he can't give me any classified information just because he's sleeping with me, but he didn't give any information to any of us. I'm starting to wonder whether Erwin has even told Levi anything.

The captain finally looks up at me, and his frown smoothes into a soft smile. It still surprises me that I can make him smile so openly now. He gets up from his chair and, while pulling his shirt out of his pants, makes his way toward me. I separate my knees for him to crawl between them, and he kisses me.

I melt into his arms as we lie down together. I try not to think about the fact that I'm going to have to leave him soon because we can't be seen waking up together. I try not to think about what could happen tomorrow, especially because we have no idea what our mission exactly is. I try not to worry about Jean, who's always so hot-headed, or Armin with his fickle heart. I try not to worry about any of them because I know they can handle themselves, especially Levi. But I can't help it.

Even when he's already drifting off, I just can't seem to keep my eyes closed. I worry too much. It's a new feeling for me because I've never had anyone to worry about except for Jean, but now I have a whole squad who is so precious to me that I don't ever want to lose them.

Levi hooks his index finger under my chin and tilts my head to look at him. He's lying on his side, his other arm tucked beneath his head, and his eyes are still half-closed. I feel guilty for keeping him up.

"Go to sleep, love," he whispers, sending sparks through my veins. "You need rest. Everything will be okay."

I roll to my side, too, and Levi opens his eyes to take me in with a curious look. I try to smile. "I have to go to my own bed soon," I point out, but the captain makes a face as if he's just bitten into something sour.

His arm wraps around my body, and he pulls me closer, then slides his leg between mine and holds me in place. There's this almost-smile on his lips, and Levi shakes his head. "Not tonight," he says, and my whole entire body is on fire. "I won't let you go when you're feeling like this. Stay here tonight. And sleep."

What's the point in arguing, really? So I sigh, smile widely, and slide even closer to him. I can feel his sweet, soft breath against my lips, and it takes me every effort to fight against my instinct to lean in.

But he does. Our lips touch so softly, so gently, so barely, and it hurts. It hurts because I want him more, so much, so much until there is nothing left of me and it's only him. The kiss is as light as a feather, making me shut my eyes tight in desperation.

Levi's hand slides down the side of my body, holding still when he reaches my waist. I let out a shuttering breath, and the sound makes him open his eyes. His blue, blue, blue eyes. He overwhelms my senses with his eyes, his smell, his hands, his lips.

I wake up with him still close to me, with him still holding me, with him still calming me. He's still asleep, so peaceful, so beautiful. I look up to see the sun rising outside his window, and I let my head fall down on the pillow. The others should be up any moment now. I have to go.

Slowly, carefully, I try to slip out of Levi's embrace, try to move his arm off my waist, but his whole body stiffens as he takes a deep breath, and his grip around me tightens. "You're not going anywhere," he mumbles, his voice groggy and tired and hot.

A grin splits my face in two, making my cheeks ache and my eyes water. I softly touch my lips against his and whisper, "Captain, I have to go back before the others notice I'm gone."

Levi doesn't take the bait this time. This time, he kisses me. He forces his tongue into my mouth, seduces me with it, and robs my mind. All while not even opening his eyes. "Let them notice," he says.

My heart might fall out of my chest. It might actually be beating so hard that it explodes. I pull away, look at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to open his. When he does, when he looks at me, those blue eyes full of humor, I have nothing left to say. No argument, no questions, nothing. So I lie back down and stay there for another moment before we both get up together.

We're in our uniforms, the both of us, and ready to join the others. I put on my green cloak, then kiss Levi on the mouth. He's surprised, I can feel it, but only for a moment before he put his hands on my waist and holds me as if he never wants to let me go again.

We leave his room together, both decent, my hair in a braid, his hair as neat and beautiful as always. We freeze in the hallway. Jean was waiting for me in front of the room in which I should be sleeping. Now he's staring at us, eyes wide, mouth half opened. And then his lips stretch into a wide smile, and he laughs. Jean laughs. So hard that he doubles over, bends to his knees, and wipes his eyes.

Levi and I look at each other, confused and also a little worried. He cracks a little smile, too, then kisses me on the cheek and whispers, "I'll let you handle this."

As he walks away, I carefully step closer to Jean. I feel like I'm approaching a wild, unpredictable animal, so I'm only making slow movements. Jean looks at me, takes a deep, happy sigh and wipes away his tears. I frown.

"What's so funny?" I ask.

He throws his arm around my shoulder and says, "I told you he's in love with you."