Shea & War

Chapter 8

Complete And Total Devastation

2 years, 3 months later

Shea

What in the world? I hurt all over, I can't open my eyes, I hear some kind of talking, voices. An annoying beeping sound that just won't stop. Is that Rider and Hack talking?

My body feels like I've broken it, I feel like I'm crying, I hear moaning, I think it might be me, but I can't tell. I'm trying to talk but I can't hear if I'm actually making words or if it's in my head.

Now it feels like warm soft black velvet is rushing through my body, I feel calmer and easy, and everything goes softly, quietly, pain free, black.

I can hear Hack and Rider talking to Dev, and that stupid annoying beeping sound.  Am I in bed? And if so, why are Hack, Rider and the club president Dev in my house? I try to speak, but my voice sounds funny and feels scratchy and sore.

"Rider? What's going on, what are you guys doing in my bedroom?"

Opening my eyes, I see that it's not just those guys, but most of the club is in my room. But it's not my bedroom at home, I'm in the hospital.

Damn it, the freakin hospital again.

"Why am I in the hospital? Where are Rocky and Jax? Please tell me what's going on, you guys are scaring me!"

Dev moves a chair up to my bedside and grabs my hand between his two hands, Hack and Rider are holding on to my other arm.

Dev looks in my eyes, and I see deep sorrow in his.

"Shea, I'm sorry baby, you were in an accident. Rocky and Kayla, Jax and Suze and you were coming back from dinner when a guy fell asleep behind the wheel of his car and hit your car. Rocky was driving, you guys spun out and the car rolled several times. A car behind you guys saw the accident and ran to you. Your car was already on fire, the guy got you and Kayla out. When he got the two of you to the side of the road, the car exploded. Rocky, Jax and Suze all died in the explosion. Kayla died on the way to the hospital, I'm sorry baby, you're the only one who survived." Dev, a quiet man who looks like a giant, is stronger than most men, looks broken. He has tears in his eyes, and a few are running down his cheeks.

I don't think I can breathe. I feel a rush of nausea, I start to heave, but nothing is coming out, just my gagging. The monitor I'm hooked up to starts a shrill whine, nurses rush in, a doctor is here, and again, I feel the rush of warm velvet and once more, everything goes black.

I don't know how long it's been since I last woke up. The moment I open my eyes I realize it wasn't all a bad dream. That Dev telling me my family died was real. Looking around my room I see Hack and Rider asleep in chairs. It's dark outside, the clock on the wall reads 1:34. I think it was daylight when I woke up last. If this is true, and I know it is, I need to get to the kids, they need me.

"Rider, Hack, can you guys wake up? I need to get to the kids, they've got to be so broken, help me get to them please."

Rider and Hack both jump up, rushing to the side of my bed. Out of all the club brothers, these two are the ones I'm closest to. They've been best friends with my brothers for my entire life, so it makes sense that they're here with me, waiting for me to wake up.

"Aw Shea, you're finally awake baby, we were so worried about you! You feeling ok? Shall we go get a nurse? You've been out for about 8 hours now."

"I'm ok, I don't want any more pain meds, I don't want to get addicted like my parents, please tell them no more ok? Now please tell me everything, why I'm here, what happened to me, and when I can get to the kids!" I don't want to panic or whine, I don't want the nurses drugging me back to oblivion.

Hack starts talking, in his calm soothing voice.

"Ok Shea, you have another broken arm, a couple of broken ribs, a really bad sprained ankle and knee, your other leg is broken and has been repaired with some rods and pins. You have some stitches in one arm, and staples in your head. You've got some pretty bad bruises all over your body and a black eye and bruising on your face. The doc said if you can tolerate the pain he'll release you tomorrow."

"How long have I been here? What day is it, when did the accident happen? I remember going to dinner with everyone, but I don't remember leaving the restaurant? Where are the kids?"

"Calm down Shea, if your monitor starts spiking again they're going to come in and give you drugs again to calm you down, and then you might not be able to go home tomorrow.  The accident was on Friday night, it's early Monday morning now. About 2:00 am. If you can tolerate everything, we can bring you home soon, but the docs need to see you awake, and you have to be clear headed. The kids are all at Jax and Suze house. Some of the Old Ladies are there taking care of them, but you're right, they really need you right now. I'm gonna call Dev and let him tell the ladies to bring the kids over later this morning when they wake up. It's fuckin shitty and awful, Shea, but you're not alone we have you, we're gonna do this together."

Hack leans down and gently hugs me, Rider's on the other side lightly kissing the top of my head.

I look in their eyes, take a deep breath, and try to convince them along with myself that everything will be ok.

"All right, I can do this. I'm don't want to wait until tomorrow, I want the kids and I want to go home today, we'll do this, I love you guys." I close my eyes to try to trap the tears inside, but they fall anyway.