Saving Dallas Winston//// A Dallas Winston Story

9: Where's My Lollipop

Well, its been about a month since my whole accident and my ribs are fully healed.

I've begun to fake my healing mentally. Of course my crazy, abusive, bastard ex being back in town brought some shit back to me. I was a pile of rubble. The ground was still shaking and I couldn't stop it. While my ground was shaking though, I wanted to rebuild someone else. Maybe it would get my mind off of myself and my problems.

Though my problems seemed never ending, I didn't feel as though they were important enough to care about or fix.

"Some people suffer in silence."

That's me. I suffer in silence.

"Some slit their wrists."

That's me too.

"Some starve themselves."

I can't love my body like other broads might. It's all a show. A facade.

You ever feel like you're drowning in your own tears, but you haven't cried tears in what felt like forever? To have an unexplainable numbness consume you?

Physical pain is my only release. Sometimes you just need a release. There are right and wrong ways to go about it though. I knew I was doing it the wrong way. But did I care?

No.

Pain is an inescapable, suffocating feeling that feels impossible to overcome. Everyone has pain. How do you deal with it?

"Dinner's ready!" Darry called from the kitchen. The entire gang leaped from their spots and stampeed-ed their way into the kitchen. They all had plates filled with tons of pasta that Darry had prepared.

Two-Bit slurped his noodles up obnoxiously, so I delivered him a slap to the head. "You're so loud." I chuckled.

"You ain't ever gonna get layed by Cathy eating like that." Steve said from across the table.

"Steve please, there are innocent ears in the room." I joked as I covered Darry and Pony's ears.

"Yeah sure, Darry's real innocent at the ripe old age of 20." Steve chuckled.

"Ew." I said as I hit my head on the wall for affect.

"Alright, alright, you're gonna get more brain damage if you keep going with that." Darry pulled me to my seat.

I gasped dramatically with my hand over my heart. "I can't beleive you just called me dumb." he rolled his eyes and sat back down.

I then realised I had to eat.

Shit. Shit. Shit. What am I gonna do?

I had only been having a few snack here 'n there, just to keep me up and running. Reluctantly, I ate the plate of noodles Soda had given me and put my plate in the sink. I knew what I had to do.

"I'm going to take a shower." I called to the boys as I left the kitchen.

They all replied with a version of "Okay." "Cool." or "Alright."

Once in the bathroom I turned on the shower and peeled my clothes off. Before hopping in the shower, I kneeled down next to the toilet and put two fingers down my throat. I gagged a few times and finally felt the bile coming up my throat. I puked into the toilet and flushed it. Once I had flushed it and rinsed my mouth, I hopped into the shower and washed myself off.

I bounded down the stairs in my sleep pants and one of Soda's sweatshirts. Darry was immediately at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me with pills in hand. No, these are not the same pills from before, these are my anti-depressants.

Yes, I know what I said. I've been faking my mental healing. Truth is, these only help so much. I probably need a stronger dose or a new prescription, but they help a little. They help with the little things, like the interaction we had in the kitchen. I'm able to not be totally miserable.

Darry had insisted that I go back on them after my interaction with Mark. I had to go on anti-depressants when Mark was put in prison the first time. They helped me get over that slump and my family helped me with the rest; to a degree.

"Time to take your meds." Darry pushed his hand towards me and waited for me to take them. I took them from his hand and the cup of water he was holding and threw back the pills.

"All done. Where's my lollipop?" I smiled a cheesy smile.

He rolled his eyes, "No lollipops today, sorry."

I stuck a lip out in a pout and muttered a quiet "Damn." under my breath.

"Hey Minnie! Come watch Micky with me!" Two-Bit called from his spot on the couch.

"Alright, alright." I went and sat in the spot next to Two, with Dally on the other side of me.

Dallas put his arm behind me, resting it on the couch. I rolled my eyes at this and a silvering piece of metal caught my eye. "You and Sylvia broke up again?"

Over the time I had been recovering, they had gotten back together. This is normal Dally and Sylvia behavior, you get used to it. Dal's loyal, Sylvia isn't though. Don't bother Dal none though.

"Yeah. I'm done with her for good now. Little broads getting on my nerves. Tired of 'er being a little slut."

"Need a favor?" I asked, an idea popping into my head.

"What kind of favor?" he asked with suspicion.

I smirked, "When's the next big thing at Buck's?"

"Every night." he replied with a small chuckle.

"When's the next time she'll be there?"

"Probably tomorrow, since it's Friday."

"Alright. Party at Buck's tomorrow, we're going."

~Time Skip~

"C'mon Babe, let's go!" Dally called through the house.

"Alright." we walked out of the house and began walking towards Buck's. I pulled out my cigarettes and put on in my mouth. I noticed Dally about to light on of his own so I tapped him to signal for him to light mine. He brought his lighter to my cigarette and lit it up.

The smoke entered my lungs and soothed me. I felt some of my worries slip away and a calming sense wash over me.

"So, what're you gonna do?" Dal asked while looking down at me.

I smirked, "You'll see."