Saving Dallas Winston//// A Dallas Winston Story

17: I Am The Darkness.

There's no easy way to tell someone you're struggling. Because, how do you tell your loved one that you don't wanna live anymore? How do you tell them you don't have the will? There's times when I wish I could get help. But there are more times when I'm glad that no one knows how dark my mind is. How the walls of my mind have been painted black and tainted. Tainted with the dark smog that quickly fogged my brain, turning it into darkness. I, like Dallas, have accepted the darkness.

I am the darkness.

We walked in the door to see the whole gang sitting in the living room, watching tv and eating cake.

"Hey Dal! Hey Y/N! Want some cake?" Two-Bit asked oddly cheerfully.

"Sure." Dally shrugged.

"Um..." my inner voice began to echo and I couldn't bring myself to do it. "No. No, I'm okay."

I looked at Soda and he gave me a somewhat cold look. At least, I found it to be cold.

"So!" Two declared outta no where, "Who's gonna get shit faced with me before the rumble?"

"You know I'm in." I chuckled. Two-Bit whooped and Steve let out a 'Hell yeah!' at the remark.

Suddenly, Soda practically jumped from his seat angrily, before grabbing me by the wrist gently.

"Y/N, I need to talk to you outside." he said before dragging me out on the front porch.

"What, Soda?" anger seeped through my voice, "You've given me a cold look since the minute I walked through the door!"

"Because I'm worried about you!" he shouted to me. I silently hoped the gang couldn't hear inside the house, but Two always kept Mickey on full blast. I stayed quiet at Soda's outburst. He never yelled at me like that usually. "I- I caught you high last night in the house. Your drinking problem hasn't gone away like me and Darry thought it would. And- what you told me, he did to you." Soda began to choke up and tears began to form, "The- the b- elt. The harassment." his voice sounded absolutely broken at the last one. I don't think he would've been able to say the word rape. This sight of Soda broke every peace of me.

"I-" I took a deep breath, "I'm so sor-ry, Pepsi." I hardly grabbed him and pulled him in for a hug, sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I just want to help you, baby." Soda's comment made my body rack with silent sobs. "No more secrets, okay?"

"Okay. Okay, Pepsi."

Liar.

"Okay, Sis. Please just- just tell me if you need someone to talk to."

"I will."

More lies.

~Time Skip~

It was now night, and the rumble was going to start in an hour. I was in my room, carefully wrapping my stab wound with bandages. Once I felt that the wrap was secure, I carefully slid my t-shirt over my body. I was wearing my jeans and black combat boots with a white shirt. I went and popped my pain pills from when I had cracked ribs and swallowed them down with water before joining everyone in the living room. When I entered the living room, Darry was shirtless.

"Oh, god!" I covered my eyes, "Darrel Curtis put a shirt on!" I parted my fingers to see if he finally put a shirt on but he was out of my view. "Is it safe?"

A collection of 'yes's resounded through the room, so I took my hands off my eyes.

"Darry, why do you like fights?" Pony asked.