Knotted in Love

Part 5

Haseena eats her breakfast quietly with her eyes on her phone; scrolling through news and recommended articles. She doesn’t say anything much or even make any sounds. Alice sips her coffee and looks at Haseena; observes her behaviors that have been shifted for a few days. She knows Haseena had a fight with Karishma and she knows they aren’t really mad at each other; at least that is what Haseena told her.

“You’re still fighting?” Alice decides to ask. Haseena’s silence is uncomfortable and she can’t bare being in one any longer. Kevin immediately looks up from his breakfast and waits for the answer for the question that has been on his mind since their breakfast has started. They both hate this version of Haseena; the one they can’t really tell what is up in her mind. She can be either boiling or drowning in her own silence.

“Who?” Haseena asks without looking directly at her best friends. She knows exactly what Alice is talking about but she doesn’t know how to answer to that question. A ‘Yes’ would be inaccurate and a ‘no’ would be a lie. There is this invisible ice wall between her and Karishma since their last fight. It is cold once she touches it so she leaves it just like that and hopes for a warmer weather to melt it down.

Alice shrugs and decides to not squeeze further for the answer. “Okay.”

“Where is Doctor Karishma?” Han takes huge steps from the kitchen and sets their table as his destination. On his way, he wipes in freshly-washed hand on his white apron while another hand holds on to a paper bag quite tightly.

“Not here.” Haseena answers. She is now irritated by everyone but still trying to keep her manner in check. “Why?”

“I make churros today.” Han places the paper bag on the table. “She loves my churros.”

Haseena takes a peek into the bag filled with Karishma’s favorites. “Can I also have the chocolate sauce, please?”

“Oh.” Han is quickly reminded and taking his steps back into the kitchen for the chocolate sauce. Karishma has become his regular and he remembers all of her favorites well better than the gang’s.

“Are you going to see Karishma?” Kevin asks and gets nudged from Alice. They are unsure if they can talk about this but chances are thrown out so they keep catching them.

“Yeah.” Haseena answers shortly and indifferently. The light in her eyes is a little dim and her voice is much less cheerful. Things are wrong and things have yet to become the same. “I always see her after her nightshift.”

“Do you want my honest opinion?” Kevin leans in a little closer and says a little softer. He is acting like this is a classified secret.

“If I said no, would that stop you?” Haseena looks up to meet Kevin’s and Alice’s concerned eyes. She knows they are worried and they would jump in head first if she ever asked for help or advice. But for this, she doesn’t know what else she could say more than she already has. She and Karishma has got into an argument. Karishma is mad. Haseena is mad. They still talk to one another but the conversations are all weird out and kept casually.

“It was your fault. You should have told her.” Kevin says everything on his mind in one breath. He knows that his opinion will upset Haseena but Haseena needs to realize that and stops staying in her illusion mind that she is right and her wife is wrong. “And you should tell her everything... involving her.”

“It is your dream job.” Alice says quietly. She doesn’t have enough nerve to say it out loud. She knows this will get Haseena angry again. No one likes the angry Haseena; Angry Haseena is the worst.

“I cannot be a horrible person and ask her to transfer her residency program across the country.” Haseena says with frustration. It’s annoying for her that people don’t get that. From her point of view, her decision is the best for both of them. “I cannot just tell her the truth because she will definitely blame herself and think that I’m trapped in this marriage.”