c h e r r y
"It's been more than four hours," I whispered on the phone call with Jennie. My tears wouldn't stop coming out of my eyes and I think my head is going to explode. "I didn't meant anything that I said to him. It was so selfish of me to say those things, I should've just kept my mouth shut."
"We all say things that we don't mean to say when we're on the edge," She says, trying to calm me. "But, what you said is kind of too much. You knew how his life was, he has reasons and he probably waited to say it to you when he was ready."
She's right, so right. How stupid was I to hurt him like that? How selfish of me. Gosh, I hate myself.
I cut the call with Jennie, and stared myself into the mirror. I looked so ugly at this moment, I can't believe I looked like this all this time. I wipe my tears away to make myself look better, but all the mascara started to smudge on my cheek which made me even more mad.
I tried not to look at the mirror, because it made me mad and upset at the same time. Looking at my own face started to disgust me. I wish I was patient, thoughtful and understanding. I thought I had those qualities, but today it proved me wrong.
Then I continued to stare at myself until I noticed the bathtub. One bath wouldn't hurt. I let the water fill the tub as I sat naked on the floor, patiently waiting for it to be filled. I didn't forget to bring alcohol, two bottles.
Once it was filled, I let my body sink in the warm water. I began to drink, even though I had a huge headache. The phone started vibrating, I took it to see and it was Loren. I cut the call and continued to stare at the wall. Another call interrupted my silence, this time it was Jennie.
Then silence overfilled the bathroom. I think they got tired of calling me, so they got the smart idea of texting me.
Soon, I started to get tipsy and I took my phone to look at the time. Damn, 3 am and yet, I'm still drinking like a bitch. I drank the last bottle and let it drop on the floor, which broke into pieces. I didn't care less and let myself close my eyes. I still can't drink a lot and keep my eyes open for a few minutes. So stupid.
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t a e t a e
Stupid me, I shouldn't have walked away like that. But, she did hurt me. We both had our traumas, of course it would show one day. And that day was today.
Y/n called me thrice, only three times. I thought she would've called more, but I guess I was wrong. Maybe she went asleep. She probably would've.
It was the first time I saw her like that. She was saying things that I would've never imagined her saying. Only in my wildest dreams. It's as if she didn't know me and just said nonsense after seeing me once. How could she have so little faith in me.
But it's been a while since we're married, I should've talked about it. This was first time, we actually talked about it and it didn't go well.
I sigh, laying on my back as I stare at the sky. The sounds of the waves were so peaceful, I almost felt like I was dreaming. It was so peaceful that it bothered me.
I wish she was here, beside me to listen to the sounds of waves. She would've loved it, she would've even do a picnic date while she's at it.This is so immature from both of us. But this is our first fight ever since we got married, of course we wouldn't know how to handle it.
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Cherry | K.TH
Fanfic"I'm out. I'm fucking done." This sentence can have two meanings. A K.TH Fanfiction Mature Content : Smut & Language