Cherry | K.TH

special chapter four

t a e t a e

It's been six months that we first talking about kids and the last time we talked about it. She never brought it up again, and it pained me, knowing how much she wanted to have kids.

She thinks I didn't notice but I do, I see every single detail. Sometimes she'd stare at women with their baby in the stroller, she'll ask me to go to the park once in a while to have a picnic beside the kid's playground just to hear their laughter, she'll smile softly whenever she saw babies on the tv, and it pains me that she keeps it to herself.

Just for me. Scrap that, it's because of me.

So I went to therapy, instead of bombarding my friends about it. Y/n didn't had a clue about it, because when she went to tutoring, which she takes at least 2 hours, I'd go to my appointment.

Honestly, I don't know why I feel the need to hide it. There was nothing to be ashamed of, really. Y/n will never laugh at me, but I'm scared that the others will. Serisouly, I'm messed up.

I'm currently talking to Mrs. Lee, and apparently this is our last session since there's nothing else to improve or to talk about.

"Your mentality has improved so much the past 6 months," She praises me, as she closes her notebook. She looks up at me, crossing her legs and placing both of her hands on top of each other on her knee. "Tell me, are you ready?"

I let out a deep breath, nodding my head. "Yes... Im ready."

She nods her head approvingly. "I'm sure you'll be able to be a great father. Don't forget Mr. Kim, you and your wife are a team, not two individuals."

❣︎

As I came back home, I see her car parked in the driveway. My breath hitched as I parked beside hers. I unbuckle my seatbelt and take my phone out of my back pocket of my jeans. I checked the time she said she'd come back home, and fuck, I forgot she'd finish early today.

Okay, think, Tae Tae.

The fuck? 

Think, Kim Taehyung. What did I told her this morning? I told her I'd go out, but where? Holy shit, how can I forget about this?

Oh wait, I told her I'll be out with Loren. Yes, that's what I said. I mean, obviously.

I open the front door of our house, and I before I can even yell out that I was here. I see Y/n curled up in the corner of the couch. I quickly take my shoes off and my jacket, before running towards her. I probably have the most corniest smile, but I didn't care since she was here.

I sat beside her, and I put my left arm on the back of the couch, so she could curl up against me like she usually does but she didn't. She stays in her own little corner and doesn't even glance at me. I decided to start the conversation, but she beats me to it.

"Where were you?" She asks, changing the channel of the tv.

I frown, not bothering looking at the tv but only her. I tried to sit closer to her but she puts her foot on my thigh, preventing me from moving.

"Alright," I say to myself. "I told you this morning, I was with Loren."

There was a long silence, an unbearable one. That's when I knew that I kind of fucked up because she closes the tv, and throws the remote controller to me, almost smacking my face. Well, she sure does love to throw things at me whenever she gets mad. A new harmful habit.

She scoffs, crossing her arms. "Loren? Seriously?"

I stayed silent, knowing she wasn't asking for an answer. Every husband learned at some point when to shut up and when to talk, I learned it quite early in our marriage.

"You fucking told me Baekhyun, and guess what?"

I'm not supposed to find this amusing, but I do. I take the chance to gamble, I have two options: I talk or I don't. I decided to not talk.

"I'm asking something!"

Fuck, I knew it, I should've said something.

I smile, "What, baby?"

"Don't fucking smile at me and call me baby!" She yells, as I immediately drop my smile. "He told me that you weren't with him."

Fuck my life, he's supposed to have my back.

"Yeah, I ended up going to Loren because he had a last minute thing—"

"Don't fuck me, Baekhyun was free today, and Loren had work. Fuck, I even asked Yugyeom and he told he had no clue where you went. I checked your location and it was deactivated."

I sigh, trying to hold her in some way possible but she just pushes me away softly. "Come on, baby, I didn't mean to. Let me—"  

"Are you seeing someone?" She whispers. Then she hid her face with her long black hair, as much as I wanted to remove it out of her face to see it, I kept my distance.

I froze in place. My hands started trembling for no absolute reason, I knew it I should've told her from the beginning. I was such a stupid pussy and kept it to myself.

"I was—"

Then she burst in tears. "How could you? After everything? I thought we were enough for each other, even without kids. And now you go and find a new woman—"

I had an endless patience with Y/n, but this time I was getting frustrated. "Y/n! Listen to me first, before assuming anything. Can you do that for me, baby?"

She stares at me, noticing that maybe it wasn't what she thought I was doing. I grab her face to wipe her tears away but she still pushes my hand away, before nodding.

"I went for therapy sessions with Mrs. Lee, for about six months now," I pause to see her confused face and her parted lips that was begging to ask me questions. "I know you're probably asking 'why?' Well, I was kind of ashamed? I know it's a stupid reason, I should've told you but I didn't really want anyone to know about it. I'm sorry I kept it from you, I just wanted you to see me the same and instead of a man that needed help.

Well you're probably asking, 'why therapy in the first place?' Isn't that right, Cherry?" I glance at her as she nodded. I laugh lightly, taking a strand of her hair and playing with it as I continued. "Well, I have some issues with myself, caused by my dad especially. I didn't want my dad to still take control of my life when I want to provide the best life for you. Where you can be happy and have all luxury you dreamt of."

"What luxury? I don't need expensive stuff," She mumbled but I clearly heard her. Y/n is cute when she's deep in her thoughts, asking the most random questions and the dumbest answers because she doesn't want to think further.

"Children, Y/n. I'm ready to have children with you."