Queen Boys

Chapter 7: Tea

It was the week after the talent show, and we were in English class when Brian had to read aloud what we had written for our English homework. The task was to write a monologue inspired by one of Shakespeare's plays. It quickly became apparent what play Brian chose for his monologue.

"Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to become the boss of everybody? Huh? Because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!"

Brian May had cracked.

After class, he was crying in the boy's locker room, and I hung back with him, both to comfort him AND to listen to see if he had any more tea on Freddie.

"If you only knew how mean he really is... you know that I'm not allowed to wear studded jackets right? That's right, two years ago, he said that studded jackets were HIS thing and that I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for my birthday last year, my parents got me this really expensive black and gold studded jacket, and I had to pretend that I didn't like it. It was so sad," Brian sobbed as I gently wiped a tear rolling down his cheek. I couldn't imagine pretending to reject a present from my parents, just to please someone who wasn't treating me any good.

"You know he cheats on Veronica... yes, every Thursday she thinks Freddie's doing A-level prep but really, he's hooking up with Mary Austin in the projection room above the auditorium! And I never told anyone about this because... I'm SUCH a good friend..." Brian choked out before crying some more.

~~~

Bingo! Brian's secret put our masterplan back into motion. After Christmas break, we tried every Thursday to help Veronica catch Freddie in the act.

We tried having her believe that ballet practice has been moved to the projection room, but Freddie was no idiot and he locked the door. And all she usually found was Mary in her underwear, which has led to some rather awkward acknowledgements between the two young women.

Then, we had Elton dress as a burglar and he 'fake stole' my diary, leading to Veronica chasing after him towards the auditorium, only to catch Coach Prenter and Mick Jagger making out.

Back at my house, Joni and Elton came over.

"Guys, do we really think we can do this? Y'know, take Freddie down? We're noobs next to him." I moaned to my friends.

"No, we just have to regroup, think outside the box," Joni responded, and Elton held up a box from the family pantry.

"What are Kalteen bars?" he asked, taking one out from the box.

"They're these Swedish nutrition bars. My mum used to give them to the Indigenous kids in Broome, the part of Australia we're from, to help them put some meat on their bones," I responded, and then Joni turned to me and smirked. We were thinking exactly the same thing.

~~~

"They're these weird nutrition bars that my dad uses to build muscle," I told Freddie at lunch the next day, offering him a bar.

"Gimme that, my dahling!" Freddie snatched it from me and took a bite before reading the back. "It's all in Swedish or something."

"Yeah there's a weird ingredient that's not quite legal in the U.K. yet," I replied, trying to come up with a convincing fib. "All I know is that it trims unnecessary carbs, leaving only muscle behind."

"I really want to lose 3 pounds, what'd you think dahling?" Freddie asked me and the other Plastics. Initially there was no reaction from Brian and Roger, until Freddie gave them a hard stare.

"OMG, what're you talking about?" Brian asked, purely out of obligation.

"You're so skinny," Roger chimed in, sounding bored.

"Shut up."

The weird thing about hanging out with Freddie, is that I could hate him as much as I did, and yet at the same time, I wanted him to like me. Same thing went for Brian: the meaner Freddie was to him, the harder he worked to win Freddie back, because he knew that it was better to be in the Plastics hating life, than to not be in it at all.

Because being with the Plastics, was like being famous. Everyone knew stuff about you.

"That new guy, came all the way here from Australia!"

"I saw John Deacon wearing big bowties over T-shirts, so I bought some big bowties for my T-shirts."

"That Deaky guy is hot, he might even be hotter than Freddie Mercury!"

"I hear that Freddie Mercury is dating Veronica Tetzlaff again, the two were seen canoodling at Barbara Valentin's Halloween party and they've been inseparable ever since."

One time while the four of us were walking down the hallway together, I saw Veronica come up to us, next to Freddie. I saw the two of them exchanging sickeningly sweet looks, with Freddie murmuring about his 'dahling'. I was so green with envy that I failed to notice a trash can in front of me, into which I fell straight into. How fun!

~~~~

I was a man possessed. I would talk about Freddie 80% of the time, and the remaining 20% I would wait for him to be brought up by anyone else.

"He's not all that good-looking if you pay enough attention," I told Joni while fixing my jumpsuit in the mirror at her store.

"I don't know, now that he's getting fatter he's got really big glutes," she responded in a dull tone. I knew people were getting bored with me, but I can't help it, it just kept coming up like word vomit.

"I have this theory that if you put a moustache on him, he'll look like a Parsi Indian monk," I said and she looked up at me. "I know, you've mentioned this before." she responded and I frowned.

"Ok Diky, I have an art show coming up. So you should take a night off from your double-life, I want you to see it." Joni finally piped up, handing me a flier.

"Fab!"

"What even is that smell?" Joni asked, sniffing the air around me.

"It's Freddie's cologne," I responded, and she scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"You smell like a baby prostitute," she replied and sprayed all around me.