Pretending like nothing was wrong, turned out to be a lot easier than I imagined.
"And Freddie wanted me to tell you that he was genuinely trying to get you and Veronica together, but she just wanted to be back with him because she was still in love with him. We can't blame Freddie for that right?" Brian asked me.
I knew it was all crap, but I feigned understanding.
"So you're not mad at Freddie?"
"Nah, I'm good." I said with a fake smile, and Brian sighed in relief. "Ok, great."
~~~
At lunch Veronica and Freddie appeared to be in a tiff about the latter's desire to lose weight until I showed up. Then he began to fiddle around with her hair, much to my annoyance.
"Why do you wear your hair like that dahling? Your hair looks so sexy tucked in! Deaky, will you please tell her that her hair looks sexy tucked in?"
Freddie was dangling Veronica in front of me on purpose! I knew how this would be settled in the animal world... but this was guy world.
"Your hair looks sexy tucked in," I obliged, parroting the words to Veronica, who looked at me with a furrowed brow.
And in guy world, all the fight had to be sneaky. Of course there would always be that one brash dude who'd duke it out right there, but I knew that in this scenario, that approach solves nothing.
~~~
"Ugh, my lips feel terrible!" Freddie complained one morning, the discomfort presumably coming from how dry the air is becoming with winter on its way.
"I have this chapstick I can bring you," I offered and he looked at me in gratitude. "Ok."
We kept our eyes open on opportunities for sabotage, and Joni filled the chapstick applicator with foot cream instead. After I handed it to Freddie the next day, he slathered on a copious layer onto his lips before Veronica arrived at the table. They exchanged a kiss before she whispered:
"Your lips smell and feel like fresh daisy petals," causing Freddie to giggle and bring her in for another make-out session.
Well THAT went well!
Another time, Joni snuck into the boy's locker room and cut out an entire portion of Freddie's T-shirt that would expose his hairy chest. He would be mortified, or so we thought.
The next day most of the guys, even a few girls for the matter, wore their shirts exposing their chests. Unbelievable! Freddie Mercury started a new trend, an idiotic one at that.
~~~
"This is bull you guys," Joni moaned at me and Elton while we were all in line for the Christmas candy canes. "It's been a month and all we've done is make Freddie's lips smell like a foot."
"We need to crack Brian May, we crack the poodle and we crack the lock on Freddie's whole dirty history."
"Say crack again," Elton ordered, and Joni nodded at him. "Crack."
While listening in, I saw Freddie approaching me. Not wanting to look suspicious to him, I whispered to Joni and Elton: "Go, go!" Getting the hint, the two quickly sauntered off.
"Hey!" I greeted Freddie who looked at me confused. "Why were you talking with Joni Mitchell?"
I had to come up with a plausible excuse, so I said:
"I don't know, she's pretty odd, she came up to me and began talking about crack,"
Freddie laughed. "She's really pathetic," and I shrugged, so as to give a non-committal agreement, even though I personally didn't agree with him.
YOU ARE READING
Queen Boys
FanfictionBased on the movie Mean Girls (except takes place in the UK). Teenage John "Deaky" Deacon was educated in Broome, Australia by his zoologist parents. When his family moves to the streets of London, Deaky finally gets to experience public school and...
