Queen Boys

Chapter 11: Fever Pitch

The following morning, Freddie went to Headmistress Springfield, sobbing crocodile tears while she flipped through the Burn Book.

"I found this is in the boy's locker room, it's so mean Ms Springfield," he said in a fake sad tone.

Pointing to one of the allegations in the book, Ms Springfield asked: "Is this true? Mick Jagger made out with Coach Prenter?" Freddie simply shrugged to that, much to her dismay.

"What's this? Kiki Dee is a skinny bitch?"

"Why would anyone write any of this stuff, it's just so mean!" he fake-sobbed some more.

"Don't worry Mr Mercury, we'll find out the culprit."

"There's only three guys in the school who aren't in that book." Freddie stated, and Ms Springfield shot him a look.

~~~~

"At your age, you're gonna have a lot of urges. You're going to want undress yourselves and to touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia, and die," Coach Prenter lectured.

I was in Health class when Ms Springfield asked to see me in her office. When I was about to enter the room, I saw Freddie saunter out of the room with a deadly glint in his eye. I also saw Brian and Roger sitting inside.

"What's going on?"

"Have a seat, Mr Deacon." Ms Springfield ordered, which I promptly did.

Holding out the Burn Book, she asked:

"Mr Deacon, have you seen this before?"

"No... I mean I've seen it before but it's not mine!" I asserted, flustered by the confrontation.

"You'd better get your story straight Mr Deacon, because I'm not fooling around here," Ms Springfield warned.

"It's not ours, it's Freddie's," Brian spoke up immediately, before adding: "He wants to make it look like we wrote it, but really, he wrote it."

Ms Springfield raised an eyebrow and turned a page of the Burn Book. Addressing Brian, she asked:

"Mr May, why would Freddie refer to himself as a 'fugly slag'?"

To which Roger began to laugh. Ms Springfield quickly quietened him with a cold stare, admonishing him:

"Mr Taylor, this is not a time to start laughing. We'll get to the bottom of this right now."

Meanwhile, Freddie was spreading the contents of the Burn Book throughout the school hallways, even sliding copies of pages under the doors of classrooms before scattering the rest along the staircases.

"Maybe we're not in that book because everybody likes us... and I don't want to be punished for being well-liked," Brian tried reasoning, and I looked at him. He continued: "I doubt my father, who invented toaster lamingtons, would be too pleased to hear about this."

~~~~

The bell rang, and everyone saw papers about themselves, as well as along the walls.

"Made out with a plate of spotted dick? OMG that was one time!" George exclaimed indignantly before shoving the sheet into his mouth, completely ignoring the fact that it was on the wall earlier.

"Mick Jagger made out with Coach Prenter?" Helen read out with her friends. "And so did Jim Hutton!"

Mick and Jim, who were walking not too far away, began brawling upon hearing about that compromising bit of information, apparently in jealousy over having both attained the coach's attention. Before too long, the school became entangled in a fever pitched riot.