THE FEAR I ADORE!

His truth...3

Pouring life back to engine, I shuffled uncomfortably, following the speed I ran into the mansion after killing the engine dead. Roaming helplessly, I appeared as a corpse, in need of drug to let go off pain. The drop dead silence was suffocating and I wished to fill it with her enchanting laughter. Walking in the direction of our room, I rang the hinge open, uneasiness settling in me. Something in me wanted to run away but the other half wanted to go for the worst. For there sat, Avalon straddling a man. Her lips attached to the man's..the kiss reflecting passion and desire for one another's touch. The man's grip around her was beautifully tight as if he wanted to prevent her from going..as if destiny would call it a dream when he let her out of  grasp. Our lips meeting together never reflected such intimacy indeed it was lust following every touch. It would be desire for bodies roaming in our eyes but to now Avalon's eyes screamed love! Their touches screamed oneness of soul! For now my mind had gone numb due to the scene ahead. It wasn't hurt running in me but rage and fury!
Without letting any word slip out of tongue, I walked back to the lounge, occupying a seat. My mind running to the scene over and over. The way her waist fits in his muscular arms. The way their bodies called completeness meeting the other half.....the way they brought me memories of Aaron and Isabelle back. Just then the door was forced open by the couple and my eyes met the green emarald ones of ROY KNIGHT!
"Enjoyed f**king my girlfriend?", I questioned walking towards them, whose face have drained every colour depicting fear.
"It's not as you...", Roy proceeded but was stopped in tracks by me.
"Since I saw you with my own eyes..I expect no house for lies!", I stated throwing the culprits ahead to the verge of fear. Words seem to freeze to them. "Since when?", I asked occupying a nearby couch. Seated with one leg upon the other radiating power and dominance.
"Past three months!", Roy narrated. A chuckle escaped my lips adding confusion to them.
"Three months! so you were sleeping with two men at the same time! since past three months! Marvellous!", I remarked my eyes sitting upon Avalon who seems no where anguish as earlier.
"Claiming me as a $l_t, when you treated me as one!", Avalon scoffed. Her eyes darting mine. Fixing my posture I walked upto her.
"You were my girlfriend never a wh**re!", I corrected.
"A girlfriend whom you would f**k as a $l_t!", she yelled.
"Keep that tone to yourself! It's you who cheated!". "Were you ever in love with me to consider it cheating? I was a mere stress reliever to you!".
"If not was I in love, weren't you? Weren't you the one claiming love every moment to me?", I questioned my voice calmer than expected. Shouldn't I be burning with resentment? but here was I calmer than ever.
"I had my limits..loving you was hard. I lost myself bringing love to you!", Avalon cried helplessly. Warm tears escaping her eyes.
"It was power draining! that's when I met Roy and he made me realise what love is. I no longer am in love with you, Dangshin!", Avalon stated.
"YOU DO LOVE ME! HOW CAN YOU BACK OFF WHEN I STARTED LOVING YOU?", I screamed, the long lost fury rising in me.
"You don't love me..you're in love with the comfort you sneak from me! You love me because I love you!", Avalon cried, as every word leaving her lips was burning her throat to death.
"I love Roy!", she whispered. Her brownish eyes sparkling on the slightest refrence to Roy.
"YOU CANT LOVE HIM! YOU DO LOVE ME! I F**KING NEED YOU!" , I said holding her face in my hands but she kept on shaking her head.
"You don't need me! You never did! all you wanted was my body!", she mumbled,warm tears flowing in the process.
"YOU DONT! YOU F**KING LOVE ME!", I yelled and she quivered in my grip. But the anger rising had gained control over every part of mine.
"YOU CAN'T LOVE ANYONE ELSE THAN ME! ITS ME WHOM YOU LOVE! WE F**KING LOVE EACH OTHER!", I roared due to the force that had pushed me back stealing Avalon out of my grip. Gawping, I saw Roy standing. His nostrils flaring due to anger consuming him. Standing up I shoot him a punch, stumbling over the kick, he threw me on stomach. Pain rose up in my body due to the beats Thomson have implemented on me. Rushing up I threw him a hard punch, knocking him down. Gaining control I kept on hitting him, until my knuckles ached to stop. Blood, the shining happiness ran through my gaze but this time it inflicted anger! At a distance I saw Avalon crying up holding Roy...the way Isabelle did! How badly have she ruined me? The disgustful looks, painful nights, their mocking laughters, Thompson's blood all hit me at once turning my eyes bloodshot red. Throwing a gun at Roy, the scenes danced in my head. It was Isabelle cheating! She manipulated me to kill my dad! my innocence, she burned everything to ashes! Her face walked everywhere. The mile I glance it's Isabelle. The air I breathe, it's her sins rotting sanity. "STOP!", I yelled turning the centre of attention. Opening my eyes, I saw Aaron lying down, mom staring at me. Forcing my gun up, I threw her a glance.
"I HATE YOU MOM! I HATE YOU!!", I chantted rolling the gun at the man, she sacrificed me for..... AARON NIGHT!! My heart had gone frantic and time seized, the past rang up again and I shot up once again! Another following behind! A whole chorus made out of gunshots! Opening my eyes, I stared up to meet Avalon, each bullet digging a hole in her flesh! calling blood out!
"A person as you is never meant for love!", rang up in my head. Burning every ounce of emotions away. I lost Avalon! the one who claimed to love me! For now I was racing down in the dark night which felt darker than ever! Throwing myself out, I ran throught the cold chills, cutting the thick mass of fog behind! Bending down I dig the land out. My nails scratching soil out, tearing the piece of greenery. My frantic heartbeat and heavy pants synced together turning into a melancholic melody. Sweat danced down...kissing my sins out loud. Pushing the body up, the face pale! still the hatred grew staring at her calm demeanor. The churning sensations made my breaths low, examining the layer of serenity surrounding her. Raising a sharp knife up, I dug it down into her wanting her to scream but they never came. Her body shook due to the force I applied! Pouring all my hate to her body, I traced blood escaping out easing the burns of my heart.
For she might be dead, but my hate would murder her every night! every instance!!
Flashback ends

He paused. Tears brimming her eyes, seeking for permission to escape. Her heart had reached heights hearing his past out, the trauma he underwent.
"I was never in love with Avalon! she was nothing but a way to take Isabelle down!", he paused and everything went still. Not even a glance have he spared up on the girl meanwhile the man ahead was still as stone. Maybe Roy was right, she would be another woman abandoning him. Just the thought of her leaving made his heart go still, throat out of words. He never cared about his mother, Avalon leaving but the thought of her walking out of his life made his insides burn with pain..pain he couldn't pour into words. The pain in heart when he had lost one long ago. For now he was scared of even staring into her eyes, he didn't wanted to see her eyes holding fear nor loathe for him. He shouldn't have told her but she deserved to! Will it be the same as Avalon leaving him? The whole of his life he was thrown out of grasp and now he feared she would throw him when he had grown himself familiar to her comfort, when he had started trusting and feeling for her.
"I'm proud of you!", she spoke calmly and for a second he freezed not recoiling her words. The girl turned to glance at the sea ahead, tides falling after rising.
"You were tormented and nobody can blame you for this!", she spoke now eyeing his vulnerable eyes which held hope and faith.
" You're nowhere a beast nor a monster! You were a kid who was destroyed mentally as well as physically.....I can't take your pains away but I promise to never let those to ever come back to you!", she spoke cupping his cheek, caressing his cold skin beneath her warmth. There was a wave of emotions but he was quick enough to hide it away.
"Foolish of you! to trust me when I almost did shoot you once!".
"Shoot me over and I would still trust you with my wounded heart!", she stated. Her eyes so determined that the man seemed to faze in the galaxy owned by her eyes.
"Why to trust me when I killed my own parents, my own girlfriend?".
" A person whose backstabbed knows the pain well!", she whispered. Her fingers grazing the mark up on his temple, concealed well by his dark black hairs. He gazed ahead. Her hands missing the gone serenity of his skin under her touch.
"A stone can never be diamond!", Dangshin spoke.
"A diamond is loved for its beauty but a stone can only be loved for its flaws!", she stated and his eyes caught hers. A havoc of feelings rising in his heart hearing her every word.
"What if I hurt you some day? Will you still stay by my side?", he asked looking for her eyes. She didn't replied but never broke the contact. Holding his hand tight she gazed infront enjoying the way her small ones fits into his large hands. As if made for each other.! She trusted him the moment he shoot her! She stayed even after finding him stabbing a body mercilessly...she stayed! and she will! No fact can change the truth she've accepted wholeheartedly...the truth of  being in love with
Dangshin Qin......his vulnerability!
And as the sun rise,
I realise I love him more than the last night.
And as the sun set,
I realise I love him more than the time the sun rose
As long as the sun rise,
the feelings would rise,
and with each sunset
the depth would feel to my eyes...
phrasing I LOVE YOU..!

SO THIS IS FOR TODAY...I HOPE YOU LIKE IT..THE MAIN THEME I WORKED ON.....WAS ABOUT LOVING SOMEONE WHOSE ORDINARY...FOR THEIR FLAWS. I HOPE YOU'LL LIKE IT. WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR OPINIONS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH...!