THE FEAR I ADORE!

su confesión

Peace? Tranquility? they say it's the easiest yet hardest feeling to adapt, but how about someone who was never known to feelings such? He killed Thompson, his own dad and there was nothing else than repent and remorse. He was healing until he realised broken are meant to be left broken! Let alone a child who found out he was manipulated by his mother..so he killed her! his girlfriend too! But this time it wasn't some anger he couldn't put a hold to or some guilt...he believed women who couldn't stick to a male deserves to be dead!...... As if the thoughts had evaporated, he learnt women needed love to nurture, to grow...and a boy so messed as him could not give so in return.
Women were flower's and men's ignorance, snow hailing o'er that kills their beauty slow by slow!
But it wasn't hate for women who cheated around him but, he himself, who never learnt how to treat a woman right and he despised Thompson for not teaching him so. The only way that has ever led him to peace was her presence. The only ray of hope....the thought that she was around and wouldn't leave him! He remembered the years, long ago, where he would repeat that Isabelle and Avalon deserved death but peace was nowhere around to embrace. He remembered!.... With his eyes fixed at her sileheoutte through the little glass window, he was anxious...for the glass was so small and already broken to shield her even. Construct some barriers even stronger to block his gaze off her! he wished. And if possible his heart raced even, as if she was infront and he was throwing time late to not mock it as an illusion. With eyes leaned close...she made no visible difference to him. Her beauty stood glamorous as ever! but he waited, for seconds...even minutes, so her brown iris would flutter and consume all of him for themselves! Her eyes were a magic..for they manage to keep a reflection so euphoric. With eyes softened and peace consuming him...her eyes made him look more humane and even beautiful. Sprawled around messily, her locks of roughness begged for his touch to soothen them and turn them tender! With conditions worse and features paler...she wasn't in a state to call pretty. But call no man in love blind, for he sees a beauty in her everytime. She had kept with her situations so inappropriate, to make him fell for him every instant. It was now when he considered a totally broken Thompson still hoping for incompetent Isabelle to love him! sensible. Love's a total blind...maybe that's the reason the winged cupid is no eyed. His eyes broke her frame off them..for he feared the will inside wouldn't be strong enough to pull him apart. The table beside occupied by numerous cards wishing good health and roses, daisies worn in bouquet begging her to lay a glance at them. If begging someone brings life back, then he would! If needed he would go on his knees and stay knelt, kissing very stride she has walked with a hope she would mark them back..a day! For a man doesn't kneels to the world unless it's the woman he've made the world into.
"I promise, I'd heal you even if that means me bring broken!". Her innocent words fills him up with warmth. No doubt she was naive, totally unaware of the danger he was but do not he knew that? Why did he broke every barrier on his own and let her in! Bringing her to a world she clearly doesn't deserves and a man she should not even spare a glance at. For now he could only wish for the world to freeze and let him stare at her..for now he could only hope! The fear of losing someone can be no worse until it becomes the lose of losing your own self! She brought parts of him hidden, out, some which knew how to laugh, a little which felt emotions and very little of those which never knew how to love someone but still loved her! She was his safe place! then wasn't he supposed to be the same? Instead he turned out to be a threat, she believed she never needed protection of! and he did......Breaking his trance of thoughts, he looked at her for the last time and walked away.
She was keeping up with a promise made long ago, even when he had cut ties with words!

The engine roared and he continued with the drive. He should hate her, shouldn't he? For she considered it of no use to consult him before knocking at Roy's steps...but he couldn't. Instead of guilt, he couldn't sense a thing! For even after every thing she trusted him ..she walked to Roy to prove him innocent? How could he even hate her? No doubt love's blind with no eyes to flaws and a heart almost abandoned to hate! The drive ended and he grabbed some air to calm himself. Getting out he strode towards the same corridor he had once, with her! The glint of fear in her eyes and how she'd stick to him every way around. Could he not be a person normal as others? With hands cojoined, he too sees a future ahead with only her but the past ...the horrible things kick the normalcy out of his life. God! He miss her! so bad! so fucking bad!! Entering the room, his eyes met the face similar to hers...the only thing being the features older and more masculine, while hers were painted so efficiently that makes even a demon churn for her. A art not everyone could understand, was her beauty!
"What are you doing here, bastard?".
"I advice you, Peter to reconsider the person standing infront before throwing cuss words!", Dangshin spoke taking a seat opposite to Peter, her father. "I see, you've recovered sooner than, I thought?".
"Cut the act, you monster. I do not know how foolish can my daughter be! Such a naive thing!", Peter growled and the man ahead stayed calm even at the reference of monster. He knew, let alone, he've believed he was one.
"No doubt a real innocent being! and I assure you Peter, my means of seeing you will earn you nothing but only benefit!", Dangshin smirked, eyes staring at a thoughtful Peter. "Do you leave me a choice rather than giving it a glimpse?".
"You choose your words too wisely to appease me. Well, I'm impressed! I return you back your daughter besides the sum I've bought her at!".
"What makes you think, I'll even give it a thought, when that foolish girl is so madly in love with you?", Peter growled and the man later turned  number at the mention of love. Reminding himself he doesn't deserves her, he says, "You see Peter, I don't do emotions and your words, they fill me with amusement. For you think you hold a place to negotiate! when I assure you, YOU DON'T!". Dangshin replied back. Getting up from the chair, he walks few steps close to Peter. With a hand rested inside pocket, he utters,
"And trust me, when I say, I have my eyes on you, I certainly don't lie! Dare you pull the tricks again and I promise you, this body of yours will bid it's last farewell!".
"Treat her wrong and I have my guns loaded!", the man threatened before ordering. "Marc, bring him to her!". Marc nodded and Dangshin walked back to his car. With the drive commenced, a thought burnt his chest hard! Wasn't he selling her the way once her own father did? Was she a thing to keep somedays and push away another? Maybe that's the way he never learnt! She was no material to trade. She was a human with emotions as crystal as him and every other alive. Not only did he turned himself into Peter but also disrespected her? But call no man disturbed wrong, for he had a intention to see her safe and give her life as contented and luxurious. Only if he knew she needed a major portion of him to survive. The glorious mansion of his honoured his steps inside...when he felt even number. Out of every place, this was the biggest torture. He stood at the steps lazily, hoping she would run down, chirping happily and he could finally get off the nightmare. But it never entertained him. With a tight squeeze in chest, he walked upto their...his room. Pushing the door open, he repented! Her scent made the longing so fucking painful. Neither was a single thing present that haven't felt her touch nor was a mirror around such, so unlucky to not praise her kindness. He hated it! how his body asked for her comfort around him. The way her arms secures him and whispers I love you to make him believe sinners do recieve a chance. A life normal to spend with her. It was now he realized she was his everything...trust, her eyes....strength, her words, a will to never give up, her presence and a love only her! His legs had no power...nor do his heart. He was tired and dead then ever when his knees gave up...holding her precious thing, secured by his neck, he tried....but she was everywhere! A thing so precious to her, the ring he had made her wore and claim as his! and today he wears the pendent swearing over her claim upon him! A tear ran down his eye...that he stayed stun...not realising what and how could his eyes manage tears when they had only pain and misery behind
"Cry harder for the person you love, for it wouldn't bring them but atleast the memories you lived!"