THE FEAR I ADORE!

His truth

"He's cheating on my back!", she screamed and every word freezed on its own..her words managed to prick my heart more than dad's beat. He couldn't...he loved her alot. Pulling her tightly I cried out..when the door barged bringing Thompson back. His eyes red, breath stinky and hateful stares which I've grown familiar to. Standing in front of mom I shield her from his gaze when a force pushed me out of his way. His eyes vulnerable, broken. Smiling sadly he grabbed her arm. His vulnerability being replaced by rage. "See what you turned me into!", he whispered. His hands caressing her cheeks but his touch turned out as soft as petals. "but still I love you", he whispered again as if tired of running away but fate seems to throw him back over and over. Ultimately the love was replaced by fury and his grip tightened around her hairs. "Contented, aren't you?". His words dropped sarcasm causing her eyes to stare into his. "Christ knows how many have failed themselves staring into your tainted innocence!", he retorted. For a while my mind had gone blank considering the scene ahead. The man standing in front couldn't be Thompson Qin, the one who taught me to cherish woman with respect and care. Mom held her head up..her expression showing pain. The moment pain flashed upon her features, dad's grip loosened. Forcing himself away from her, he threw the nearest object which appeared to be a vase. "F**k you for throwing me in such a mess!", he paused. His hand going upto his head, massaging the temple hard. He seemed drunk but sober enought to not hurt mother. Jerking her towards himself over, he leaned forward...the magic of my mother's eyes working on his. Dad's eyes softened as if he wanted to love her with every bit of heart he has left with. His eyes flicked to her lips..plump ones, no addiction could beat! and his lips broke into a smile, a little on the top of anger. " I pray all my good deeds to fall upon you and bless you with all love!", he stated. His eyes adoring her. There were many beautiful woman, but his eyes recognised only beauty of hers! Surely he was sick..sick in love! "May heaven cherish you, the way no one could", he mumbled. His eyes turning cold, giving way back to hatred. Pushing her away he stared up, his eyes red with anger. It seemed as if her beauty had burned him, everything about Isabelle had ruined Thompson! If wasn't all going enough for my little brain, dad pulled out a gun causing my eyes to fell out of sockets. "Thompson?", mother cried out shocked of his attempts. "How pathetic do you make me? When even after trying I can't despise you!", he screamed. "Thompson..see we can mend everything.. please lower the gun".
"What are you gonna mend? and for how long can you! You made me a beast!".
"Thompson.. please give me a chance".
"DO YOU FEEL AS DESERVING ONE?", dad roared. Their words causing my eyebrows to twitch in confusion...but I choose to ignore everything when my whole focus was drained on them. Dad was high and his finger setting up on the trigger had my eyes on. With fear written all over me, I held my feet walking in their direction slowly, hoping to calm dad.
"Isabelle! How wrong do you make me!", he cried. His grip on the revolver tightened. What was dad taking about? Isn't he the one cheating on mom's back? Why do he seems all broken when he was at fault every instance?
"I'm sorry..I pray for death to cherish you better than I could ever do!", dad whispered. His finger slowly played with the trigger. The world seems to pause with the sound of gun shot echoing everywhere. Forcing my eyelids open..I got my hand away from the metal, I've been holding to meet a gasp following scene. A huge pool of blood laying in the centre.."Thomson?", a faminine voice screamed dragging me back to reality. In centre lies Thomson Qin, unconscious. Maybe he was too drunk to stand still? The metal couldn't hurt him? It hadn't grown deep enough to kill him? He'll wake up!.. I tried to convince myself when every bit of me knew how the metal had tore his skin paving a way for hot liquid to escape. "Dangshin...how could you kill your own dad?", mom cried. Her words igniting a new shade of fear within me. " No! I DIDNT! he was too drunk! I DIDNT KILL HIM!", I protested causing water to flow out of my eyes.
"Let's clean this first or the copes will catch you!", she advised dragging me into darkness.....
Weeks later
It had been complete 6 weeks since Thompson Qin died. Mother have convinced me to accept the fact he was high enough to die on his own..but every corner of my heart knew he was stabbed by his own 10 years old son! the darkest night I've seen in my life! Well you can never embrace the warmth of days without suffering cold chills of night! The life I had walked over was brought back by my mother. She was there, every moment to fight nightmares haunting me, to face insomnia troubling me and I was glad for everything she was doing for me.. for the smile she have gifted me. Inserting the key in, I walked through the corridor once filled with dad's blood..presently it had large sofa with round glass table, ornamented by glass vases holding scented tulips...finally it was home! Walking back, I was interrupted by voices reaching my eardrum. Shall I ignore those? eventually I would but today my feet instantly followed the direction meeting a large door..the empty space out settled by two large cabinets holding books while the other CDs..the top proudly calling attention due to the glass pair of swans. Grabbing the hinge, I pulled it down calling the door open to meet two naked selfs. The man stood while the woman on her knees...her nails dug deep into mass of
thighs while her lips working on his
d!ck. The man ahead groaning loud out of pleasure..his hand moving into root of scalp asking her to continue. My blood went pale, staring at the black eyes filled with lust! Unconsciously the proud attention seeker feel down....causing two heads to jerk in the direction owned by me. Moving away I stood in the centre..massaging my head trying to comprehend the view. The view of my dearest mother giving a man blowjob when hardly had it been 6 weeks after her husband's death. Was she actually the culprit? Was she the one cheating on dad's back? How foolish of you, Dangshin to doubt your own mother! I heard my conscience say. Well she could have fallen in love? Love do happens twice. Atleast she wasn't cheating. "Love can happen twice!", I pronounced again convincing my tensed self when little did I know
 Only one moon can exist in the sky!
"Such a bad impression, ruining our S€X", a manly voice complained. Turning around I saw the same man say. Quite skinny to beat the muscular self of dad! and his accent too chep to be of Thompson Qin's! My eyes darted to the female, with a red robe hugging her body, well if those marks could be concealed. Her eyes showed annoyance...for spoiling their privacy. "I'm sorry darling for him to.....". "Mom who is he?". "Another bad habit, probably from Thompson, I see!", the stranger stated causing my eyes to darken at the mention of dad. Was there any probability of him knowing the actual reason of dad's death? I could feel the fear surging back to my eyes. "Mom who is he?", my voice losing its anger. "Aaron.. Aaron Night", the stranger introduced.
"my boyfriend", mother added. "What bout dad?". "Isn't he dead...dead by his own son's hands?", Aaron stated causing me to go pale.
"No he was too drunk to die on his own!", I added causing the room to merge into chains of laughter...sinster laugh. Aaron walked back to Isabelle grabbing her waist and pronouncing.
"Such a good actress you are! An excellent manipulater!". His words breaking a small smile on my mother's lips.. definitely proud of the remark.
"mom what do he mean?". "Such an oblivious child...it was your mom cheating since the first day with me on Thompson!", Aaron enlightened me and the would around me seems to split. It was never dad but mom?
"Mom he's lying, Right?". I heard my voice getting pathetic..mocking for them who erupted into fits of laughter.
"He really is oblivious!". I heard my mother say pricking my heart to bleed. Pain stung my eyes...draining in form of tears.
"Isn't your bastard father in the right corners?", Aaron exclaimed with a smirk. Within a second his smirk breaking into cries of pain. My hand moved to the nearest object slamming it hard on his skull. The pain igniting in him causing his knees to tear apart..blood to find a passage to escape and surrender him back to death. I felt myself hitting him over and over...his death couldn't bring me satisfaction. I wanted the worst of him..to ruin him! "AARON!", a high pitched voice cried out breaking my attention off Aaron. There stood mom..tears flowing down her cheeks. Rushing to me, she pushed me away holding the dead body in her arms...pleading the dead man to wake up. Not even an ounce of guilt hit my soul...as if the pain had drained my sense of emotions away too!
"How dare you hit my Aaron? Bring him back to life!", Isabelle screamed, hovering all my attention upon her. For an instance she flinched seeing my eyes but she was quick enough to gain back the agony rising inside her.
"I SAID BRING AARON BACK TO LIFE!".
"FIRST YOU BRING THOMPSON BACK TO LIFE!", I yelled on the top of lungs causing her eyes to go wide.
"Defending the person who used to abuse you, who hated your existence, who was disgusted of  you?", she argued. Voiceless! I was hearing her words...why was I defending dad who used to hit me! who buried my innocence in pain!
"Murderers don't ask for life after stealing it away!", she retorted.
"I AINT A MURDERER!".
"YOU are! A PSYCHOPATH who stabbed his own father! a f**king monster who ate his own father!", she screamed. I wasn't guilty at her words, as every one of them leaving her mouth was contributing to anger!
"Thompson was right to hate you cause a monster can never be loved! A person as you is never meant for LOVE!", she screamed for the cold metal entering her flesh had all her voice. The cold tip, tore her flesh, earning dominance ,ran deeper and deeper stealing life away from her! I dug it down more .wanting to throw her to a painful death. She was dead...the very moment Aaron had his last breath. For what I did was even snatching soul out of her body! My eyes met the similarly unfamiliar black eyes...their innocence gone long ago. The pride was coloured with blood..just the thought of the same fluid flowing through me..made me feel disgusted. I wanted to throw every drop of it away! The day in the mirror I saw the familiar stranger who was dragged to hell! The similar stranger who looked just as Dangshin Qin but he was the beast woken out of the little Qin!
"A child's just a piece of glass
depends on the world either to turn it to a beautiful mirror or an ugly weapon"

This was for today. I hope you'll enjoy reading it..for I had alot of work done behind this...btw what do you think...can love happen twice? Pls let me know about your opinions and sorry for the delays...exams sucks!