THE FEAR I ADORE!

A chance?

Seated with silence..her eyes were tightly held, many thoughts overcrowded her. Indeed blank pages hold lots of words hidden! Unlike last day she wasn't having any panick attack somewhat calmness have consumed her. The thought of her bestfriend's death was replaced by the reasons for Joshua to stalk her. She wanted to fill the blankness with the words she craved. The sudden decrease of speed brought her back to reality. As soon as her eyes opened she realised he was out. Sighing she unlocked the door stepping out of car. Walking and walking she felt the hardness slipping beneath her feet that's when she realise where the stop have been made. Bending a bit she allowed her toes to contact the fresh air. With heels in a hand she walked slowly feeling the somewhat warm sand caressing her feet. Peeping her eyes laid at Dangshin who was already seated. She occupied the place beside him when he placed his jacket on her lap. His gaze fixed ahead as if those fears have again crowded him. A small smile played on her lips and she sat comfortably with his jacket shielding her from cold wind. Using the silence she drew a close look at the view. It was almost dusk and the sun had set long ago...still it had warmth resembling to twilight. Thou darkness was never appreciated by the world but a darkness such..could make anyone fell in love with! The sky had grey clouds with tress turning black...the world fading away. The same song ringing in the lips of shore...the same feelings which Dangshin had brought into her for umpteenth time. Even god had been the witness seeing her fell in love slow by slow for the man, the world called beast! She knew she was insanely in love! It feels as if she wakes up everyday to love him and lay eyes shut to realize it's uncontrollable. He's everywhere..either it's her head of chest....he've messed with every part of hers. "Do you believe the world claiming me as a murder of my own parents?", he inquired. His eyes fixed in the view ahead. "I trust you beyond words!", she confessed. A warmness settling down in the man's chest.
"Even if I'm what the world says?", he questioned and she was left dumbstruck. Did he actually killed his own parents? the biggest sin? Will those sins overthrow the love in her heart for him?
"My father, Thompson Qin was an inspiration to to the world. People wanted to steal his abilities... that's how perfect he was. A man who rules many hearts but the power to rule him was snatched by Isabelle, my mother.......a woman any man would kiss hell for !".
Flashback
A lean framed boy sitting at the edge of bed. His eyes peacefully laid at the family photo standing at his mahogany table. Can a person be lucky enough to recieve god as guardians? Well I am. Eyeing the frame, I glanced up at myself. The shiny pair of black eyes which twinkles as stars meeting the similar one of my mother's. The sharp features of mine which turns dull when compared to my father. Well a perfect blend of their features! quite honourable to me. I was out fo my imagination by the unwanted visitor but the scene ahead seems to throw me into another. Infront stood a man, his eyes wearing eyes bags under. His hairs messed and his beauty ruined due to lack of care...meeting the eyes I realised who it was.. Thompson Qin! my father! My eyes took a quick glance at his face following clothes behind. His work clothes were all ruined...quite unusual for a clean freak as him! His steps limped, his breath stinks! His eyes met mine and they held rage..as if he despised staring into them. "Dad..?".
"Lower your eyes!", he ordered but I wasn't in senses fo process those words. Never have I seen him such..all wasted. People claim to drink to escape grief. What sorrow would have drown him to alcohols? And the next thing I knew was a sharp pain emerging on my cheek..due to the force he have pushed his hand with! The spot burned! as hell when another hit me causing my eyes to brim with tears. "How shameless could you be?", he yelled. His hands working on my body bruising them with as many beats as he could!
"I hate how weak these eyes still makes me!", he scoffed. The anger behind every reason of his being drained on my body. "Dad ..?", I managed to whisper but nothing seems to calm him down..nor do useless pleads leaving my lips. My body ached everywhere. He had managed to hit almost every part of mine...instead that heart, then why was he beating too hard?
"THIS IS WHAT YOU MADE ME!", he cried throwing a fist on my jaw messing the pride I've inhibited from him. Once done he stood up balancing his drunk self out of my room before throwing looks full of loathe and disgust on me! What have I done for him to be disgusted of me? maybe he's too wasted to acknowledge his words? How about actions...my conscience screamed. He never meant those! my heart uttered. Convincing myself to sleep, I forced those pains to bring sleep to my heavy eyes...
Few days later
Sitting in my room...I stared up at the ceiling begging my fresh wounds ro not cause me pain...but my pleads were ignored the way dad ignores my cries every night. Well it was never his drunk state to cause me harm. His every word was meant! the abuse was intentional. I inhaled a shar breath causing my stomach to hurt. Every cough, even do every breath causes the pain to rise. And the door opened setting my heart to speed up. I've adopted to his beatings unfortunately my body couldn't. I've accepted the pain but my heart poorly can't! I thought with every beat the pain would go away but it only worsened. Forcing my arms up, I threw the hood off showing my bruised body. His touch seems to be fire burning my arms with red patches...my chest's pretty bruised forcing me to quit eating and lastly the one I'm the most scared of. It starts from my neck ending at my lower back...the pretty shit he've gifted me using a bat. I waited for his touch to burn me, but it never came! the curses to cause blood to come out of my ears but it seems to be thrown away by sobs. Worried, I turned around to meet black eyes, shinning hard due to tears. "mom?", I asked stunned. Her eyes roamed around my body and the pain took spark of her eyes away. Her expressions changed as if she could hear every scream, very pain dad's beats have for me into. Her sobs greeting uncontrollable. Her body shivering on its own, the way my body felt under his touch. She walked towards me, her steps slow. Raising her hand up she touched my arm, and I tried everything I could to supress my groans. Her fingers followed every bruise....with the control lasting well, until her hand grazed my stomach causing a loud wince to leave my lips. I felt deaf to only hear her sobs breaking into cries of pain. "Mom?", I whispered as even words leaving were causing my throat to hurt due to his strong grip. "I'm sorry...I'm too so-rry to cause you th-ese pa-ins!", she cried out. "mom you didn't!", I mumbled but she kept shaking her head...holding the whole blame on herself. "If only would have I know...he would step too low. I wouldn't have let you....su-ch!", she broke down. "It's not your fault!".
"I'm too sorry...I wish I would have agreed to div-orce on his dem-and!", she chocked out. "Div-orce?", my voice low and she nods. "Mom it's no big deal...you won't divorce him!" I cried despite the pain rising in the pit of my stomach.
"HE'S CHEATING ON MY BACK!"

WELL THIS WAS FOR TODAY. PLS LET ME KNOW HOW WAS IT. I TRIED MY BEST TO POUR ALL THE EMOTIONS...HOPE OT WORKS. WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR COMMENTS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH