Do we belong together? Rusger! Bl

Do I belong here ?

Warning: Su*c*de thoughts and Self-harm.
——————————————————————-
After I left Russia to his dorm I went back to mine and again those thoughts came back, every time I would end up hurting myself and Asan would have to heal me over and over again I had to get a therapist and I am happy it was my cousins who are my therapist sanuro and Umi, they give good advice I was surprised sanuro does, when he also has the same problem as me. I heard that voice in my head again saying 'don't do it' I got the knife and cut a little of my skin of my arm, I was bleeding but I felt like I should go for my neck next I decided to put the knife next to my throat and I felt a warm hand touch my shoulder I look behind me it was sanuro.
"Put the knife down Germany."
"Sanuro ?"
"Put the knife down. Please" I put the knife down on the table and turned around looking at sanuro he looked worried and concerned
"Let me see your arm"
"How did you know ?"
"You have crop top on and you are covering one of your arms with your jacket" I moved the jacket off my arm and showed him my cut, he got a bandage and put it on the cut he looked at me with his green eyes and that have a blue heart at the bottom of his eyes I always look at his eyes they are so beautiful unlike my eyes they were a dark dark red, like my father's.
"Germany this is the 16th time this month"
"Es tut mir leid, Sanuro"
"Es ist okay, Deutschland"

(Time skip)
________________________________I wake up to my phone ringing and I look at it it was Russia, I forgot I gave him my number i answered the call I wasn't just going to not answer that would be rude
"Hallo?"
"Hey ger"
"Hallo rus"
"I was wondering if you could help me find my first class ?"
"Ofc"
"Thank you"
"Mhm" I hanged up and I got up from bed and I was to lazy to change I had a black crop top and I had black sweatpants since it's fall and it's so cold, so I just put a red jacket on, I didn't want anyone to know I am a femboy even tho sanuro has the flag under my flag in his dorm but at least it's small I hope no one sees it. I left my dorm and went to russias but I forgot I had my wings out so I put them back in tho I prefer to hid them unlike Sunsun she keeps her wings out and she has the same wings as Weimar. I was already on the 3rd floor right next to sum's dorm I smelled smoke coming from it so I am guessing he is smoking again without me! Sum usually smokes and if I remember his roommate is Italy, Italy doesn't mind it since he also smokes usually like 2 times each day. I was next to Russias dorm so I knocked on it and he opened it and looked at me, he had a tail a small one it looked like a bears tail he also had didn't have his Ushanka and he had bear ears
"Don't ask" he looked embarrassed but I think it looked cute I decided to go inside and close the door to talk with him since he looked embarrassed and I knew Finland was going to come out because when it's 5:00 he is out and goes to work since he is already a 4th year and Estonia was his roommate when you are already a 2-4 year you get a roommate but some 2nd years don't Italy is still a 1st year like me but he got a roommate who is sum, sum
is already a 2nd year.
"So are you a bear rus?"
"Yeah sadly"
"I think it's cute!" When I said that he started blushing which I found funny I started giggling and looked at him still blushing
"Why are you laughing!?"
"Because your so red" he started blushing more it was funny I decided to play around with him since I noticed he gets frustrated easily so I decided to sit on his lap he looked at me and was blushing more at this point he was all red he was a blushing mess tho I am also blushing I have never done this before.
————————————————————————

Y'all please tell me if this good or not
Es tut mir leid, Sanuro: I'm sorry sanuro
Es ist okay, Deutschland: its okay Germany
Please tell me if I spelled the words right and everything because I barely started learning german.