A Light in the Dark

Chapter 1 (Erik's POV)

Chapter 1

I paced back and forth and ran my fingers up and down the piano. The wretched sound made my ears bleed, but what was the point in music if I didn't have my Christine to sing it, but then I saw Gustave sitting in the corner. He was playing with the music box I made for him when he first came with his mother just a month ago. I didn't have much light in my dwelling besides the few candles on my desk and the arrangement on my piano. Gustave didn't think I could see him if sat in the shadows, but I had lived so long in the dark that I could see what I needed to including the teary eyes of my little Gustave as he watched the clown's hands clap as the music danced across the room.

Gustave looked up at me suddenly and tried to wipe away his tears quickly, but I heard the sound of his running nose that he tried to stifle. I took my mask off of the piano and slid it back over the horrid being that was my face. Although Gustave did not want to admit it, I knew that when I didn't wear the mask, it still scared him just a bit. I strolled over to where Gustave was sitting and sat down beside him. I didn't know what to say to him, but as it turned out, I didn't have to. Gustave wrapped his little arms around my right arm and buried his face in my coat. As much as I had never seen myself as a father figure, Gustave didn't mind. All he really wanted was for someone to be there for him, and it was not as if I was ever demanded to be anywhere important. He was so much like Christine yet so much like me. He had my straight brown hair and blue eyes, but he had Christine's voice and her tender touch.

Her voice...

It haunted me. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see her flowing gown rustle as she sang, but then I heard the shot and remembered her scream.

I had closed my eyes once more, and there it was again. I opened my eyes with a start and could feel them burning with tears. Gustave buried his face even tighter in my sleeve, and I rested my head on his back and wept with him. I tried not to cry in front of him. I felt as if he needed someone strong, but the truth of the matter was, through everything from my magical lasso to my last gamble with Raoul, I was not a strong man. I acted that way, but I had murdered out of rage and gambled out of fear. Rage and fear were two qualities not found in a strong man.

Gustave took the handkerchief out of my front pocket, and he dried his eyes. I sat up and stroked his hair. He looked at me with his big blue eyes and said, "Papa?"

Papa... He hadn't openly called me by a title since he had lived here. Granted, it had only been three weeks and I knew the boy needed his space, but the title almost made me want to shed tears of joy. He was such a beautiful child.

"Papa?" he repeated.

"Yes, my son?"

"May I ask of you a favor?"

"Anything you wish, Gustave."

"Papa," Gustave muttered, "Mother used to sing to me when I was upset."

There was a moment of silence as I stared at him too stunned to know what to do.

Gustave sniffled and said, "Could you sing to me? Like Mother used to?"

My eyes started burning again. I didn't want to sing. Since the loss of Christine, I had no reason to sing, but the candlelight that hit his pleading eyes pulled the song right out of me just like Christine's did. I sang the chorus to "Love Never Dies," and Gustave's crying ceased. I got up off of the floor. My legs were growing stiffer day by day. I reached my hand down and helped Gustave up off of the floor. I knelt down to look him in the eye.

"Would you like to spend tomorrow just the two of us?" Gustave looked at me with uncertainty. "I could finish paying the bills tonight, and we can spend the day in the park just you and me." The truth was, I didn't know where this statement came from. I despised going out into the park. The people pointed and asked if I was Mr. Y, but I would do anything for my Gustave. He was sad. I wasn't going to let him spend the rest of his life in the dark even if that was how I chose to live my life.

"I will admit that I would like that very much," Gustave said timidly as he was trying to avoid my eyes.

"Then that is what we will do!" I kissed him on top of the head and sent him to bed. I sat down at my desk to pay the bills. Many of them were to be sent back with tear stains as many of them seemed to have ended up in those days. Though Phantasma was doing well then, I still cried as I repeated in my head over and over again, "Papa..."