A Light in the Dark

Chapter 24

Chapter 24 (Erik's POV)

He never came home that night. I had expected him to. I had even come up with an apology to say to him once he came in, but he never did. I sat up until about two in the morning thinking that he would come home eventually.

He didn't.

The air was getting cooler by the minute. Even in April, New York had some pretty chilling nights especially when on the water. I pulled on my coat and decided to go look for him. I figured that he probably didn't want to see me, but it was worth a shot. I grabbed Gustave's wool coat from the hat stand too just in case I found him.

I checked the workshop first. I had half expected him to be there, but he wasn't. I ran through the apartment buildings where my employees stayed. I woke a few of the workers that I knew Gustave was friends with, but none of them had seen him either. Squelch decided that he would help me look along with two or three other men.

I was searching around the docks when Squelch came running.

"Sir, he's out on the beach," he said huffing.

"The beach? Are you sure that was him? It's awfully cold out there by the water," I said warily.

"Oh, it's him, sir. It's a spitting image of you – mask and all."

In all of the commotion, I had forgotten about the new look. I nodded at Squelch and quickly thanked him before turning on my heel to go to the beach.

Sure enough, there he was. He was sprawled out across his cape that he had laid in the sand. I let out a sigh of relief. I took quiet steps so maybe he wouldn't hear me. I tossed his coat so that it landed on his chest. Gustave jumped up and whirled around.

"Oh," he huffed, "it's just you."

"So you're not scared of your old man, eh?" I asked him. I was really trying to find out if he was still mad at me.

"Nope," he said popping the p.

I sat beside him in the sand. "You know you really shouldn't lay your cape on the beach like this. It gets into the folds of the collar, and it's a pain to get out," I said in an attempt to make conversation.

He actually chuckled. "Yeah, I never thought of that. I remember that time it got in yours, and when you put it back on, the sand went down your shirt. It scared you half to death. You thought it was a bug."

"It did not scare me!" I objected.

"Sure," he said, "tell that to the man who was jumping around like a mad man that day."

I rolled my eyes.

"Deny it if you want," Gustave continued, "but you're not as tough as you act."

I sighed. "I guess you're right. That doesn't mean I have to like it though."

I could see Gustave's teeth forming a smile under his mask.

"You know, the black and white suits you," I said.

"So, you're not mad?" he asked.

"No," I said after a long pause. "I can't be mad at you. I just prayed when I found out that you were my son that you were nothing like me. I mean, of course you got some of your looks from me, but aside from that, I really hoped that you didn't inherit anything from me."

Gustave turned on his side so he could face me. "Why do you say that? I wanted to be like you. I always have. I've wanted to be like you since I read the article on Phantasma that was in the French newspapers. I hadn't even met you, and I wanted to be like you."

That came as a shock to me. "I didn't know that," I said quietly.

Gustave just nodded. We sat in silence for a few moments until he spoke up again. "You don't want me to be like you because of your past, and I want to be like you to make up for it I guess." He chuckled. "It's funny you know. You're afraid that I'll turn out like you, and I'm afraid that I won't."

I chuckled too. "You're wise beyond your years, my son," I replied.

"I guess I got that from you."

"Do you want to know why I'm not going to argue with you about that mask?"

"Why?"

"Because you're stubborn like your mother. I know I won't win if I do."

Gustave laughed. "She always was persistent."

I smiled. "So are you. I just don't like you wearing it. I wear it because I have to. You don't. You're a very handsome young man. A mask scares people away or it draws the wrong attention. I don't know, Gustave. I just want you to fit in and have the life I never got to have."

"Well," he said suddenly growing quieter, "I think that if people don't want me to be around because I wear a mask, then I don't want to fit in with those people anyway."

"Well, it's your life, and I guess I can't tell you how to live it," I said. "After all, you're almost sixteen. You're practically a man now."

"I'll always be your son though," he said. He moved to one side of his cape and patted the other side, and I lay down beside him. He wrapped both of his arms around one of mine and rested his head in the curve of my neck.

I chuckled. "Grown men don't typically do this," I joked.

"They don't typically wear matching masks and own a circus either," he pointed out.

"Touché," I said shrugging. "So, if you weren't mad at me, then why were you laying out here on the beach?" I inquired.

"I needed to clear my head," he said. "Mother would occasionally take me to the beach when she could get away from the Vicomte. She said the shore washes all of your worries away."

"Surely you haven't been here since this morning," I pointed out.

He shook his head. "No, I ran into Elaina."

"Huh, and what did she say about this new look?"

"Well, at first she was shocked, I guess, but she liked it. She said that I had a good reason for doing what I did."

"She must be a kind girl," I pointed out. I could feel Gustave's face growing hot against my neck. "Is there, umm, something else you need to tell me?"

"How'd you know?"

"How'd I know what?"

Gustave jerked up. "Don't play dumb! You know that I kissed her."

I laughed. I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. "I had no idea!" I admitted. "I just felt you blushing. That's all!"

Gustave fell back on the make shift blanket. "Well, now you know," he said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," I said shrugging.

"I really like her, Papa," I heard him barely mutter.

I chuckled and pulled him close to my chest. "I think you made a fine choice," I said.

I felt him smile. I pulled his coat over him like a blanket.

"Papa?" I heard him say a few moments later. His voice was growing tired. "Do you remember when you used to tell me all of those stories about the constellations?" I nodded. "Well, could you tell them to me again?"

I pulled him closer in my embrace and started recollecting all of the stories I knew. It wasn't long before I felt him yawn. I suggested that we go back to the house, but he objected. I couldn't deny that I didn't want to go back either. Going back meant separate rooms and no cool night air. I missed those nights when Gustave was smaller and he'd crawl into my bed due to nightmares. I missed the nights when he would fall asleep at the piano, and I would have to scoop him up and take him to bed.

I knew somewhere, deep down, that this would probably be the last time that I would get to let my son sleep in my arms, so I just let him sleep. I let him dream happily as he laid there in my embrace while I watched the stars and wished to make up for lost time.