A Light in the Dark

Chapter 35

Chapter 35 (Gustave's POV)

I stare at the beautiful baby girl in my father's arms. Her little hands wave as my Papa gently sings and coos to her. There she was, my beautiful Christine Elaina Yousefi. I know Elaina and I had agreed on naming her Grace, but I couldn't bear for my only daughter to not have her mother's sweet name. Besides, grace was the last word on my lips when I felt that I had been given none.

Tears stained my face and jacket as I looked upon the face of my lifeless wife. Gone. She was gone. The only childhood friend and lover I had ever known was gone. The midwife had let me be the one to close her eyes, but I couldn't bear to do it. The loving blue orbs I had once held so dear were now fearful and lifeless. I heard footsteps behind me, and I knew they were there to take my precious Elaina away. I held her cold hand to my chest and sobbed uncontrollably.

One of the men bent down beside me and rested his hand on my shoulder. He was an elderly man with his eyes full of kindness. "I'm sorry for your loss, son," he muttered gently, "but she has to go now."

I shook my head and held her hand tighter. "No, I beg of you, please no."

He patted my head and nodded. "I'll give you another minute."

I took my shaking hand and closed her eyes. Then I looked upon her face. It would be the last time I would see it.

I stroked her long brunette locks and twirled the ends around my fingertips like she used to enjoy me doing. "Our time was too short wasn't it?" I mutter, and I can see my Papa's eyes well up with tears as he paces the opposite wall. "I promise you though. I swear on my life that I will protect our daughter with my final breath. She'll be kind and wonderful just like her mother, and though I know I'll miss you like hell, I'll stay here because she needs me. You gave me the greatest gift of all, and I love you. I love you with all of my heart," I whispered to her as my final words.

The man with the kind eyes nodded to ask if I was ready, and I nodded back at him. They covered her with a sheet and began to carry her out.

"I'll see you soon, my love," I mutter as I watch them take her out the door.

"Gustave," Papa began, but I cut him off.

"I'm sorry, Papa," I whispered helplessly.

He took a step towards me and pulled little Chrissy's blanket up. "Whatever for, Gustave?"

"I promised you I wouldn't let her slip through my fingers, and I did," I cried. I sat back in the chair by the bed with my face in my hands. "It's all my fault. If I had only saved her innocence or stopped her that night, she would still be here."

I cried for a few minutes until I felt Papa's strong hand on my shoulder.

"How am I supposed to go on with no mother to mother my child?" I whimpered helplessly.

He bent down so I could see my daughter's sweet face. "Look at her, Gustave. She's already so strong like her father and so loving like her mother. Look at all of the people here who were so excited to finally see this precious little girl. Look at everyone who loves you. You're not going to raise this child alone."

"But all of those people are not her mother."

He sighed. "You're right. They will not be as wonderful as her own mother, but she will be loved. She will have her wonderful father and her grandfather. She'll have Erin to show her how to dress and act like a stylish lady. She'll have Lee to teach her how to cook and clean. Gustave, this child is not going to miss out on life, and I'm not going to let you. Now, I'll watch her for a while, but eventually, you are going to have to get up and realize that you have this beautiful little girl who needs you." He paused for a moment as more tears spilled over my eyes. "I'll take her to her room now."

I frantically shook my head. "No. Let me see my daughter."

He nodded and gently placed her in my arms. "I'll let you have some time alone." He slipped out the door as I sadly looked around our – my bedroom.

I looked back to my sweet little Chrissy and kissed her forehead. A small smile crept across her face as she looked at me. "Let's get a little light in here," I said gently. I went to the window and opened one of the little swinging panes. A beautiful sunset flooded the room. Chrissy babbled at the sudden environment change, but she soon calmed and yawned. The sunlight warmed her little face as she fell asleep in my arms.

"I love you, my darling little girl," I whispered to her. With that, her baby blue eyes fluttered closed. I felt as if the weight of the world had been taken off of my shoulders as she slept with her face buried in my chest.

After she fell asleep, I kissed her head and put her in her crib so she could rest. Erin agreed to watch over her as Papa went to check on the children and I cleaned the bedroom. I simply threw the sheets away. I couldn't stand the thought of sleeping on them ever again. Then I opened Elaina's wardrobe. I couldn't force myself to throw anything away. Perhaps Chrissy would want something of her mother's one day. Instead, I organized all of her belongings and took her dirty things down to wash for the last time. I washed and dried them and placed them neatly in her wardrobe. I looked around the room. With tears sliding down my face once more, I decided I couldn't stay there for the night. It had gotten late, and I knew I would need my strength to take care of my little one. I sent Erin home when Papa returned for her. They insisted on staying, but I insisted that I needed time alone with my daughter.

When they had left, I went to pick up the babbling child from her crib. I fed her the milk the midwife had given me since she had no mother to feed her. She softly went back to sleep in my arms. I started to take her back to her room, but I turned around. I was going to sleep in the guest room. I gently placed Chrissy in the center of the bed as I changed clothes. She didn't even budge when I crawled under the covers and pulled her close to my chest. I softly stroked the small wisps of black hair on top of her head. I cried myself to sleep as I looked at my perfect daughter. She only woke up twice in need of her diaper changed, but she was a good and sweet child. I could have not have been more grateful than to have the most beautiful angel in the world resting sweetly in my arms.