Ineffable Family

Chapter 25

TW: anxiety, snakes (obviously)

It was a week before Crowley was off bed rest, two weeks before Aziraphale allowed food to be delivered, and three weeks before he went to the bookstore check on Muriel. He wouldn't have gone at allif Crowley hadn't told him leave her the fuck alone for at least an hour. As soon as Aziraphale left the house, he was seized with horrible anxiety. What if Heaven or hell broke through the wards? With Crowley still so weak, could she defend herself and Hope? He took a cab to the bookshop, stayed for five minutes, and miracled himself back to Mayfair. He could hardly breathe as he flung open the door.

Crowley was sitting on the couch explaining the plot of The Golden Girls to a rather confused Hope. "You see, Rose is kind of stupid but fun. Sophia—she's my favorite—she loves roasting everybody. Blanche is a slu--"

"Hello, my favorite girls!" Aziraphale interrupted before Hope learned a new word. "Did you miss me?"

"Horribly," Crowley said without turning around. "We were inconsolable, two puddles of tears, barely had the strength to turn on the—"

"Very funny." He leaned over the back of the couch to kiss her.

"I did miss you," Crowley admitted. "More than usual. If I wasn't a terrifying demon, I'd say I was--"

"Scared," Aziraphale finished for her. He plopped onto couch and slid into a slouch very unlike his usual precise posture. "I suppose it make sense, given the trauma that--"

"Quit being logical and cuddle us, angel." Crowley shifted so she was leaning against his chest, and he had no choice but to put his arms around her and Hope. "How are things at the shop?"

"Muriel has sold exactly one book, about dentistry in the fourteenth century. They said that the person was bent on buying something, so they steered him toward something they knew I didn't like."

"They're learning fast."

"Indeed. I'm lucky to have them for an apprentice."

Three days later, Aziraphale left the flat again, this time to run errands. First, he bought formula. Crowley was producing plenty of milk for Hope—despite her initial fears—but Aziraphale gave her formula when she woke up in the night, so Crowley could sleep. As he ran his credit card, he wondered how he could going about blessing lower prices on formula and baby supplies. Feeding your child shouldn't cost more than filling your gas tank.

The second stop was for takeout. Since she was no longer pregnant, Crowley's appetite had waned, and Aziraphale had made it his mission to make sure she ate enough. There wasn't much he could do to help Crowley recover from the trauma of her imprisonment and the near-death experience of Hope's birth, but he could help her get her strength back, and food was one way to do it. When she mentioned that chicken tikka masala sounded good, Aziraphale fairly ran out the door to get it for her. Of course, anxiety made him fairly run back.

"Daddy's home," he called out as he entered the flat. He set the bags by the door. "I have slayed the beast and returned with the spoils."

There was no answer.

Aziraphale's first reaction was blind panic, but he swallowed it in favor of logic. They were probably asleep in the living room.

Except they weren't in the living room or the plant room, either. Okay, now it was time to panic.

"Crowley!" Aziraphale shouted. "Hope! Where the Heaven are you?!"

He pelted down the hall to their bedroom; it too, was empty. He was just reaching into the ether for his flaming sword when he caught a flicker of movement in the bassinet. His heart in his throat, he approached the little cradle.

Hope was there, sound asleep in the coils of a huge black snake.

"Good Heavens, Crowley," Aziraphale whispered harshly. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"She'sssss sssleeping, angel," Crowley hissed.

"I can see that. Why are you in snake form?"

"She likessss it when I tickle her cheekssss with my tongue."

"Well, I brought supper," Aziraphale said, a bit tetchy from the fright. "So, come along, out of the crib."

He slipped a hand under Crowley's coils and lifted her up. But as soon as the snake's warm embrace was gone, Hope woke up and wailed.

"Wait a ssssecond," Crowley hissed. "Put me back. Now!"

"All right, all right, don't get your tail in a knot," Aziraphale grumbled, releasing her.

"Don't cry, my darling," Crowley murmured, winding securely around the baby. "Mummy'sssss here."

Hope stopped crying immediately.

"That'ssss right, my sssweet." Crowley nuzzled Hope's pudgyl ittle cheek like a cat. "You've got your very own guardian sssserpent."

Aziraphale just stood there in disbelief. Hope was completely comfortable. Not only was she comfortable, but she seemed to know that the snake was her mother, who loved her. Special angel, indeed.

"I'll...put dinner in the fridge," he said faintly.

"Eat in here, with ussss," Crowley suggested, blinking her huge golden eyes. "I wouldn't mind a meatball or two."

"All right, then." Aziraphale scratched her chin, then leaned down and kissed Hope. "Be right back, my lovelies."

  He brought his pasta into their room, and ate it by the bassinet. He broke pieces of meatballs for Crowley to munch on. Or rather, for her to swallow whole. Hope drifted off with Crowley's tail in her hand.