[The scene opens up with a city shot that pans down on Imp City. Yelling can be heard in the background. Loona can be seen reading a magazine called "IMP GOSSIP" with Verosika Mayday on the front page and drinking out of a glass bottle. She places the bottle on an open page of Stolas' grimoire and it rolls off the table. The page of the book glows and creates a portal to the human world. A tree falls through the portal, along with a severed head. Moxxie peers out of the fallen tree, carrying a chainsaw. Blitzo walks into the office.]
Blitzo: Woo, that was a fuck ton of lumberjacks!
[Millie crawls across the floor like a crab, with an axe between her teeth.]
Millie: *yells* I'm still so jazzed up!
[She snaps the axe in half and laughs. She then walks over near the rest of the group.]
Moxxie: Well you better stay jazzed, *points finger guns* babe. Because, guess where I'm taking you tonight?
Blitzo: Don't you dare finish a filthy pun in my presence Moxxie. Besides, drinks are on me tonight. Let's hit up the new dive down the street.
Moxxie: Actually, sir, it's our one-year marriage anniversary. So, I'm taking Millie to Ozzie's in the Lust Ring!
[Millie's eyes sparkle and she squeals in delight.]
Millie: *gasps* Ozzie's?! No way! That place is always booked!
Moxxie: Yeah, well I've been planning it for quite a while.
Millie: Moxxie!
[She jumps into Moxxie's arms and kisses his face before they both start French kissing and making out. Blitzo rolls his eyes.]
Blitzo: *groans* Ugh, can you two not?
Moxxie: I'm sorry, sir. Maybe another time?
Blitzo: No, it's fine! I-I can come with the two of you, help you celebrate your boring as fuck monogamy.
Moxxie: Uh, no. The reservation is for us.
Blitzo: Uh huh!
Moxxie: Just us.
Blitzo: Mhm!
Moxxie: Without you there. Explicitly without you there.
Blitzo: I'll wear something nice. It's a big deal after all. *hugs the two tightly* See you lovebugs later!
[He whistles on his way out. Moxxie growls.]
Millie: Relax, sweetie, don't let him get to you today. Let's just go home and... clean this blood off.
[Moxxie blushes, flustered. She drags her finger down from Moxxie's chest and makes a seductive purring sound. They walk offscreen.]
Blitzo: ...Ember, you're coming with me!
He grabs her by her wrist.
Ember: Wha- hey! I never agreed to this!
Blitzo runs out the office while dragging Ember out, followed by the door being slammed. The scene cuts to Hell's version of a subway.]
—————————————————————————
Intercom: Elevator 666 departing for Lust [in seductive tone] in 5 minutes.
[Moxxie fixes his bowtie, Millie walks on screen. They both walk off together and Blitzo peers from on the other side of a pillar. Millie and Moxxie sit down in a waiting area as Blitzo and Ember spies on them behind a newspaper. Blitzo calls Loona.]
Loona: (voicemail) Yeah, it's Loona. Whoever you are, go for it.
Blitzo: Hey, Loonie. Just wanted to let you know I'm not gonna be back home until real late. I got something important tonight.
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One Hell Of A Boss - (Helluva Boss AU)
HumorIn Hell, imps are the lowest of the low in society, but what happens when one starts an assassin business? This happens! Follow Blitzo (the 'o' is silent) as he attempts to run a startup killing company in a very competitive market, along with his w...