One Hell Of A Boss - (Helluva Boss AU)

S2, E9 - Apology Tour (6/22/24)

[Episode opens with water filling a large pool. Stolas lays down in a lounge chair beside a tea table under a royal tent in the garden, reading a botany book with a cup of wine on a table next to him. Blitzo appears a little ways away, climbing over the brick wall.]

Blitzo: Hello, hello, hello, Stolas! You have- Ah!

[Stolas takes notice, but scowls at Blitzo for the harsh and heart breaking words he said the night before. He covers his face in his book as Blitzo falls into the bushes, climbing out, yanking a carnivorous plant off of biting his elbow as he walks up to talk.]

Blitzo: You haven't been answering my texts, and I sent you a bunch of funny shit. So, what gives?

Stolas: I was hoping my lack of "ha ha's" in response to the photos you sent would be an indicator I didn't want to talk right now.

Blitzo: Oh, come on, Stolas, we just had a rough night. 'Sides, you always want to hear from me.

[Trying to get his attention, Blitzo uses his finger to press down the middle of the book so he and Stolas would be eye to eye. Stolas sighs as he closes the book in his hand.]

Stolas: Blitzo. What is it you want?

Blitzo: I wanna feel like I'm earning my way to Earth! 'Kay? So get your tight, feathered ass out of that lawn chair and into the bedroom so I can- FUCK it!

[Blitzo climbs on top of Stolas as he speaks, but the Goetia prince was not in the mood. So, he frowns as he gets out of the chair and to the tea table.]

Stolas: (sarcastically) Wow. Poetry. I'm sure such a statement would have had me swooning by now.

Blitzo: Uhhh, I- Sh- Yeah, sure that wa- Okay, that was a shitty way for me to say it- But you usually like it when I talk all dirty, and fucky, and shit.

[Stolas stops in his tracks, and turns his head to scowl at the spotted imp, the sound effect of a crow cawing being heard.]

Blitzo: Come on, we don't do words, we do sex!

Stolas: As shocking as this might seem, Blitzo- [eye twitches] I don't think I'm in the mood to [finger quotes] "do sex" with you. In fact, I don't think I'm even in the mood to do words with you! [walks off] So, how about you respect that?

Blitzo: [follows] Oh, come on, Stolas. you can't mean that. You always love seeing this.

Stolas: Seeing you right now is hard! I don't want to feel worse than I already do.

[As Stolas puts down his botany book, he picks up a folded envelope with the words "You're invited" on it.]

Stolas: It's bad enough I got an invite to this anti-Blitzo party- An honorary invite for being your freshest ex.

Blitzo: "Anti-Blitzo party"? Who the fuck's behind this?! [reaches for the invitation]

Stolas: Oh, it's entirely immature. I'd never indulge this nonsense, it's silly.

Blitzo: Real silly. [rips invitation out of Stolas's hand] Real fucking classy.

Stolas: Kind of them to invite me, though. It might be rude not to make an appearance.

[Wanting to get to the bottom of this, Blitzo opens the invitation and is shocked to find who it's signed by.]

Blitzo: Verosika?! Of course, that fucking bitch.

Stolas: I will say, it's rather concerning you have an entire party devoted to hating you though, Blitzo.

Blitzo: Oh, please, [gives envelope back] everyone hates me for shitty reasons. [sits at tea table] In the end, everyone's just bitter they couldn't tie this ass down. [puts legs on table] I'm too much imp to simp!