One Hell Of A Boss - (Helluva Boss AU)

S1, E5 - The Harvest Moon Festival (4/30/21)

[Scene opens up to a sunlit exterior of Stolas' mansion. A sigh of contentment from Stolas is heard. Blitzo is shown lighting a cigar on Stolas' bed and folds his arms behind his head.]

Stolas: *arms tied up* I'm sorry for having to move our little rendezvous early. I have an engagement this month on the full moon.

[Stolas is shown wearing a ball gag and harness, his hands tied to the headboard with rope.]

Blitzo: When this happens, it's not really something I fuss about...

[He uses cigarette to burn rope, freeing Stolas, who takes Blitzo's cigarette from him and takes a long drag of it.]

Blitzo: But, do you really need the book for this farm bullshit? I have, like, fifteen new clients waitin' for heads to roll.

Stolas: As shocking as it may seem, Blitzy, my grimoiiiiiire is actually incredibly important. And it isn't supposed to be lent out to itty-bitty Imps like yourself.

[Stolas puts out the cigarette in one of Blitzo's horns and pinches his cheek before Blitzo shoves him away.]

Stolas: The Harvest Moon is a very special occasion! It's been my annual duty to showcase it in the Ring of Wrath. It's celebrated by a very charming little festival with the locals.

[Blitzo pulls a feather out of his mouth in disgust.]

Blitzo: Wrath, huh? My employees are from there. I've never really been. I hear it's full of inbred chucklefucks.

Stolas: *sits up* Oh! Why don't you all join me at the festival? I can guarantee you all...

[Stolas pulls the covers over his head and his head appears near Blitzo's crotch.]

Stolas: ...special access~ *chuckles*

Blitzo: Look, I told you, we're not bodyguards. Okay? That was a one-time thing we did badly.

[Stolas stands up with the covers on his head. He does a playful owl head tilt.]

Stolas: I'm simply offering a work-free day of fun! I feel quite safe at the Harvest Festival. It's the same every year.

Blitzo: Well if you promise this isn't some fuck fest invite, it does sound like it could be a blast and a half. Plus, it's not like we can do jack shit without your book anyway.

Stolas: (baby-talk voice) Aww, I'm sowwy your clients will have to wait...

Blitzo: *waves a dismissive hand* Oh, fuck my clients!
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[Moxxie and Millie's apartment is revealed under a Robo Fizz and Robo Jin sign. Moxxie and Millie are asleep in their bed. Moxxie's phone lights up and a Phantom of the Opera organ ringtone is heard. Moxxie taps the phone and rolls over. The phone rings again. In annoyance, Moxxie grabs the phone and sits up.]

Moxxie: What do you want, sir?

Blitzo: Hey, hope I didn't wake ya, Mox! How would you and Mils like to visit the Wrath Ring for some harvest bullshit this year?

[Millie sits up in excitement.]

Millie: The Harvest Moon Festival?! Yee-fuckin'-haw!

Moxxie: *sighs* Well, Millie likes the idea. Wait... Where are you calling from?

[Blitzo falls down onto the bed from the ceiling. His phone bonks him on the head. Moxxie narrows his eyes as Blitzo purrs happily. Moxxie looks annoyed while Millie seems amused.]

Moxxie: Mm-hm... Of course.

(How did Blitz convince Ember you may ask? Well, here you go!)

Ember is seen in her own apartment. She slowly gets out of her bed to go to the kitchen to make a coffee. She rubs her eyes as she opens her top cabinet to find Blitz in there.